My present is presence...

Ha! Get it?

I said the title of this post to my mom in a conversation last night and thought I was very clever (you can laugh) so it's getting double-duty by appearing on the blog. But 'tis true.

There is something about this season, where on one hand you are full of joy and thankfulness and then a second later you can be overwhelmed with feelings of ohmygosh twelve more days till Christmas and there are no lights up outside, less than 50% of the gifts have been purchased, and the only gifts that have been wrapped were those that had to be shipped off (kudos to me for at least getting that done!).

But really. It's so easy to be overwhelmed. And dare I say, even more so when you've got a little one in the mix. But that little one, oh my. That boy - he is so demanding of my time in such a good way. I want to be on the floor wrestling with him every minute I can, or reading the books he's so carefully picked out and toddled back to me with in his chubby hands, signaling his wish to read said book.

For someone who finds delight in the hustle and bustle - the decorating, the wrapping, the planning, this year is so different. And while I still love those things, I am surprised at how easily and quickly I have lowered my expectations and let things go. Because there really is no greater present I can give my family - than to just be present.

And I think that makes us all feel pretty darn jolly. Happy holidays!

Our season so far - as seen through the lens of Instagram;)

Ten months...

Oh hey! Look at us - ten months...I can't believe it! It's been a rough week and how I'm sitting here busting out this blog post, I do not know. Tobin's had his first fever and we got over that hump to be followed by his first bout of diarrhea (too much information? sorry...), but anyways, that's where we're at. We had a doctor's appointment yesterday that was supposed to be for his fever, but of course by the time we got there the fever was dropping and he had no symptoms and was as happy as could be. We turned it into our long overdue nine month appointment and I have real stats now - the kiddo is holding steady between 25-26 pounds at 25.5 on the nose and he's 31 inches long. I think he's keeping the weight down thanks to all the walking he's been doing lately.

Tobin and his partner in crime...

Yup, walking. Tobin - oh, Tobin. You started walking at 9.5 months exactly. You are indeed a crazy boy. You have been dabbling in the pulling up and trying to walk phase for a while and I thought you were happy there, but you woke from a nap one day and it was a whole new ballgame and you had decided you were going to walk - it was written across your face. In fact, I called Ty and told him "He woke up and has decided he's going to walk." And sure enough - you did and you haven't looked back. Now, of course you fall plenty. But you can walk around the bottom floor of the house - and have done many a stretch from the living room all the way back to the washer/dryer area without dropping. And, you're fast. I think if you would slow down you'd fall less...just a hint;)

I apologize in advance for sharing this video twice, here and on Facebook. The quality sucks but I'm posting here for posterity's sake. Also, it must be said - why do I sound so ridiculous?



In other fun developments you wave bye/hi when you feel like it - not at all consistently - but when you feel like it. And you clap, but it's kind of backwards, so it looks more like you're trying to wipe your hands off, it's funny. Noises and the imitation of them is your favorite and you are currently enjoying growling or clearing your throat loudly. It's very becoming when we're out places, thank you for that!

Evenings at the park and swings - a winning combo!

This last month brought with it Tobin's first Thanksgiving - which was much too fun and thankfully, also very relaxing! And now we're just THREE weeks away from Christmas...oh and then we're about SIX weeks away from a certain someone's first birthday. Pass the tissues, folks. I'm already picking out songs for his one year slideshow and planning a blurb book. You know, in all my spare time;)

Tobin and Grandma at Thanksgiving. Tobin and I share the same feelings about food, obvs.

Ten months and counting...and we're having a ball!

Nine months!

Here we are...nine months! I tried to get back on track this month with taking pictures in his chair with his bear, but it is NOT easy. The boy just doesn't really sit still and trying to do it alone is just a hazard to us both. Grandma was over, so we took advantage of her help and attempted some shots and this post will have the best of that little shoot:) If I'm being honest - this is really what about 99% of the pictures look like:

You think I'm just going to sit here? Hahahaha...

So, nine months and where to begin? This last month has been all about connections for us which is so neat! Like routines are starting to make a lot of sense to him and you can tell he KNOWS things vs. he's just a baby along for the ride. Like every night, when we're done nursing I say "Where's Tobin's turtle?" and almost every time now he will look up above to his little turtle nightlight and then we stand up, turn it on, and kiss goodnight. And he smiles every single time it lights up - and you can see he expects it. That's so cool to me!

Here's some other fun bits about our little dear at nine months:

• He shakes his head no - a lot. He's been doing this actually for a long time (and being the crazy person I am, I was seriously worried there was something neurologically wrong at first, bc could he really be shaking his head no?!! - turns out it's just his mom with problems with her head...) but now you can really tell he uses it to relay no or to play back with you. SO fun!
• He's making lots and lots of noises, mama's a popular one. But his favorite thing is to do this breathy "pa-ba-pa-ba" while kind of blowing raspberries. Because raspberries are how we roll over here.
• He is obsessed with trying to walk and he really thinks he CAN walk. Which is problematic. Because - newsflash, Tobin - you can't. Thankfully he does understand gravity a bit more now and has a little trepidation (there were a few weeks where this was nonexistent), but he's definitely getting closer with every day. Tonight was SO exciting because he took at least seven unassisted steps going between me and my mom. But that was over a couple tries.
• He continues to be a wonderfully easy boy - he is just SO joyful and funny. He's very flirtatious. Even when he was really feeling down earlier this week (he has FOUR teeth coming in on top at the same time), you take him out to the store and it's like a light flip switches. He turns it ON for people. It's so ridiculous that at times it's a bit embarrassing. He will call attention to himself by yelling really loud and then will give people the most smirky grin you've ever seen. He's a performer. 
• He's really tall, I don't know exactly how tall but he just feels so so long lately. Oh, and he's 25-26 pounds, depends on the day. Thanks to the height thing, we also made the move to the big boy car seat this past month. It's been wonderful - I love it and he's much happier. 

Okay, I could go on and on, but I'll finish out with some more pictures!

He didn't want to sit in the chair, he wanted to stand up and peer over the top, so we went with it...

All he really wants to do. And also baby zombie and scary pug on the right;)

And why does ten months sound so much like 12 months? I still feel safe in the nine month zone for some reason, like he's not that close to being one. Oh, how I hope this month takes it time...we'll be back soon!

Zeus...

Apollo, Poseidon...the greek gods don't have anything on this guy.

what, me? just standing here naked. totally normal.

This happened while we were trying to capture his nine month photos today (nine months!). Hopefully I'll get to that later this week, the fact that we even took pictures on time amazes me so a post within a week's time will be considered impressive.

For now, this should give you enough Tobin for a while...and I don't know why people say he's so big. Ha! Really, isn't it funny what you get used to seeing? The other day I told someone he was thinning out. And trust me, he has...he used to have moobs (man boobs) for miles.

Oh, how I love my chunk of Toblerone!

Today

Today was almost perfect. Like really, really, really perfect fall weather. The sky was as blue as it gets and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The only part that wasn't perfect was that Ty had to leave and head back out again this week for work...so when Tobin woke up from his last nap of the day we were just the two of us. We decided to take full advantage and went out for some fun down at the lake. Tobin ate leaves and mommy took her camera...everyone had fun!

That is till Tobin started wrestling Mommy and decided he also wanted to nurse...he's become ummm, kind of apparent and while this is going to seem wholly inappropriate as a description it's really the most accurate - but he pretty much motorboats me in public. If you don't know what that means, I've linked to the urban dictionary for you. So, that little rendezvous was wrapped up and we headed home where we could take care of business;) But thankfully before all that we got some fabulous shots to capture the fall fun!

Oh fall, you're just the best!

p.s. Babies in fleece pullovers are absolutely delicious. I could have squeezed him to pieces.

Eight and halfish months

As I sit here waiting for a gazillion files to upload to Dropbox for a work project, I figured I would take quick advantage of the time to jot out a quick update on our Tobin. So, we're a little past the 8 month mark, but this will count, right?

That face. Oh, that face. I love him. This last month he has grown so much. He is a little man with so much personality - some traits are emerging that ummm...how shall I say this...will need to be refined to be their best quality. He is scheduled to a fault. And if you do not stick to that said schedule, it is a DISASTER. And oh, oh, oh is he stubborn. We had a meltdown this evening because we did not read our books before bed. SHOCK AND HORROR. He made himself cry so hard he nearly threw up. But, then we read some Skippyjon Jones and Gray Rabbit's 1,2,3 and all was alright with the world.

Speaking of reading, while he's always loved it, this last month took it up a whole new level. We read many books multiple times before we're okay with them being put to rest and while we referenced a few favorites above, others include Dog, Heads, and Tails. He adores them!

Also new over this last month - he sleeps the entire night without waking to nurse. It's been nearly four weeks now, and sometimes I miss that time together, but I'm also loving this full night's rest thing too...

We are pulling up on things constantly - the table, the chairs, the refrigerator, mom's legs...it's non-stop. I don't really like this phase of wanting to walk but not yet able to do so - it's scary and constant. But on the walking front he is crazy - he is relentless in his want to walk. My mom thinks he'll be walking by nine months...I still think we have some time to go, but we shall see!

I feel like he's trying to be a toddler before his time and all I want him to do is slow down a little. But since I know that won't happen - we're really having a blast over here and seriously I think Tobin could make a Duggar out of me. Ten more, twenty more? SURE! (Ty will die when reading this.)

Looking forward to a fun November - Nine months in November - it's gotta nice ring to it, huh?

Multitasking...

When I'm home alone (Ty was at the gym)...this is what I do in order to cook. What you can't see is me dodging from behind our pocket door to "get him"  - he loves it. Well, I guess you can "see" it when the video gets all shaky. Ha! Whatever - poor camera skills over here, I guess!

I still need to write his 8 month update, but let me just tell you I HATE OCTOBER. Really. Get me to November in one piece, and there will be blog posts aplenty.

Anyhow, I'm off to bed. Hope you ALL have a fabulous week ahead!

p.s. Yes, the boy is wearing stripes on stripes - that's kind of matching by default right? You can tell we were trying hard over here today...

It's like a sigh of relief....

When after a busy day, I get to hear this kid belly laugh. So great.

p.s. This pic will have appeared on Facebook, Instagram, and now the blog. I love it so much. I also love the  leftover food by his ear that looks like ear wax. It is apple/carrot. Not ear wax. Promise!

p.s.s. Instagram!!! J'adore! Please get on Instagram all of you. I love it. You will love it. I will love looking at your pictures. Do it today!

Busy, busy, busy...

Life lately has been a little on the busy side. And from the way October looks to be shaping up (and it's just the first day!), this month will take the cake. There really is not a day that goes by where I feel like there's enough of me to go around - there really isn't. But here I sit blogging for a second - ha! Take that - work, schedules, errands...look at me doing what I want!

But I digress. So, how is everyone? Life around these parts, aside from busy, has been loads of fun. The busyness of the day is always punctuated by joy in what free time we have on the weekends and we are taking full advantage of the whispers of fall that made their way into our town this weekend. Yesterday, Ty and I sat outside and I wore, get this -  a hooded sweatshirt - what??? I know - absolutely crazy. And fabulous, to boot!

So, those moments of punctuation? Those moments of joy in our household? Here's a few snippets:

The rest of my fall decorations? In a bin...but I did manage to get a little something out to welcome fall!

I feel like the shirt says it all...love my boy!

What? I totally should be helping you unload the dishwasher, right?

I will hopefully not be too tardy to Tobin's 8 month update, but if I am...you'll understand, right? Hope everyone is having a fabulous start to my favorite time of year! Welcome, fall:)

Seven Months!

So, seven months! SEVEN MONTHS, people.

I don't know - we've tipped over into the now closer to a year territory and that is crazy to me. Just crazy. But here we are - and where to begin? Six months was a big one in our world - we mastered crawling, had two teeth show up (finally - the drool!), and just as quickly as we mastered crawling we decided that was boring stuff and have moved on to standing and trying to walk. Now, I'm sure that this process will take a while but really the whole standing thing has added a whole new dimension to our lives. Particularly bedtime...lay him down and he pops right back up. He now yells for me while standing and it's amazing how much louder he sounds now that he can cry for me from above the crib vs. laying in it.

Oh, and the standing/walking ventures have also made me question this child's IQ level. Seriously, NO CONCEPT of gravity or fear. Unlike some kiddos I've watched who tentatively attempt to walk while holding on to the side of the couch, table, etc...no, Tobin literally smiles and lets go and then looks genuinely confused (and sometimes offended!) when he finds himself on his back after falling. So needless to say, he requires constant (as if it weren't constant before) supervision. We've done the baby-proofing thing, but let's be honest we can't very well pad our walls/floors so we think we may be in for some fun times ahead - say a prayer for him now, will ya? Or better yet, say a prayer for me!

But really. Oh man, I can't even put into words how much I've fallen in love with this boy. I think I've said this before but sure you love them the minute they enter the world but then this relationship begins to form because you get to know them...you get to see their little personality develop and this guy is just the best. And while he's "so boy" and as active as you can be - he has a really gentle spirit and he is just the happiest kid you've ever met. He has this fabulous laugh and he opens his mouth all wide and his eyes get squinty and I'm pretty sure he's got dimples in BOTH cheeks. 

But enough with the words, here's a lot of pictures to catch you up on the last month!

We tried to capture the standard bear+ Tobin photo, these were are attempts...thanks to Julie for our favorite onesie!

We still really, really, really love bath time!

Standing+eating+drooling = Tobin's favorite.

This was his first time ever standing up in his crib, he was very proud!

These are my most favorite pictures taken to date, they are quintessential Tobin. Love that face!

Where-oh-where will this month take us!? We can't wait for what's ahead!

Our new favorite game...

This afternoon we discovered Tobin's new favorite game - had to share the fun!

In other news, we are all SO ready for Friday - just one more day till we can play all day! Hope you all have a great Friday and wonderful weekend!

Pinner Winner

So, as we all know Pinterest is the devil's work, right? I can get lost on that thing for hours and yes - this picture below definitely holds true for me...

BUT - I do have moments where I put all those pins to good use and actually bake/make/create something and I figured I'd go the extra step and share my review of my winning pinnings:)

Disclaimer - all of the following are baked goods. And no, they were not all baked at the same time...I've just been lazy in getting to this post.

Banana Cake - when I saw that this recipe was on Bake or Break, I knew I'd like it. And like was an understatement. I hardly ever have something that cooks up just like the picture shows, but this one sure did. It was a jacked-up version of banana bread. Really fantastic and really easy. I did alter the recipe by adding a few dashes of allspice and cinnamon because - well, because I love allspice and cinnamon. This will be a regular on my Easter/brunch menu.

Salty Chocolate Chunk Blondies - Oh, look! Another Bake or Break recipe. And again, it's a winner. This was new territory for me because I don't do much baking with whole wheat flour and I also hadn't ever done a "salty" dessert. These were AMAZING. Mine weren't quite as pretty as the picture, but the flavor was there. Definitely worth making again in my book.

Cheesecake Sugar Cookie Bars - The title alone tells you these are totally horrible for one's diet. BUT OHMERGERD. These are evil they are so good. Of all the recipes I'm listing today, these were the hardest to make but that was largely because I was under a major time crunch and I was making the salty chocolate chunk blondies the same night - I should know this, but do not attempt two new recipes in the same night. I want to make them again when I have more time and patience - so I guess, I'll be making these in heaven. See you there!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars - Last and least in my book were these - I'm a big fan of all the ingredients and I almost always love anything that involves yellow cake mix (I'm fat like that...), but these were just okay. They were super easy which was nice, but they were almost too rich? I know you're laughing since I just declared my love for the Cheesecake Bars above, but I think it was the chocolate in this recipe that did them in. But again - worth trying if you're into chocolate and peanut butter!

Okay, so there you have it. I really should try to do some pins that don't involve high fat/calorie contents, look for my healthy board coming soon to a Pinterest near you:)

The Half Yearly

I look forward to the half yearly sale at Nordstrom - the "half yearly" of my baby boy's life...not as much. Don't get me wrong - I'm so very blessed and really there is not a single day that goes by where I don't look at him and think - "Wow, he's mine." So, I'm happy we're here and we're healthy. But today was a bit emotional for me (I know, I know - what am I going to do at the year mark?!?!) because of just how amazing these last six months have been and that I really can't believe we've reached the half yearly mark.
Today I really wanted to stop time. Just a little.

But time marches on - or in Tobin's case...crawls on! Can you believe it? He officially started really crawling the day before his six month birthday - so.much.fun! I'm sure I won't be saying that once he picks up speed and the newness wears off, but right now, Ty and I are in just as much amazement of it all as he is:)

So where are we at six months?

• Tobin is 22 pounds and 28 inches. Yup. We get lots of stares and questions about his size as of late...yesterday leaving Target a lady asked me turn around so she "could see the face of my baby, because she had been staring at his amazing thighs for too long." I happily obliged:) He can sit by himself from the crawling position (another fancy new trick!), and he loves to dance. His favorite happens to be what we call the "granite dance" - which is just when you turn on Chris Brown (I really need to start downloading the edited versions of my favorite dance music, huh?) and you let his feet hit the granite counter tops...he's got some moves. I'll have to video it soon!
• Good eater. I was relaying this to our pediatrician at today's appointment and he kind of laughed and was like, "Well with his height and weight, I kind of assumed he loves to eat..." Since introducing rice/fruits, the only thing that's been a no-go has been peaches. Everything else is welcome!
• He's just a lot of fun. I know everyone's got to feel that way about their kid, but really - Tobin is just a joy to be around. We call him Joy Boy (we've got major rhyming skillz over herrre - represent!). He's always quick to give you a smile and a laugh. The best are the ones right after he wakes up - there's something about that sleepy face and big gummy smile that's impossible to resist.
• He has pretty much moved on from snuggling, there's too much to see. And since I miss that so much, we still get up once in the middle of the night for a feeding and while I know I could train him out of it, I don't want to. How bad is that? I love those 15 minutes of alone time I get with him where he's all cuddly and just wants me. I'm pathetic. I know it as I type it. But oh, he is just so sweet!
• Speaking of sleep, he is a super scheduled kind of guy. Regular naps and at night he goes down by 7:30 and sleeps till roughly 8:00. 

As always, I could go on...but really the bottom line is that we are just so blessed. And while Tobin has been doing the bulk of the growing over these last six months, when I think back on where we started - it seems Ty and I have been growing right along side of him and I'm so thankful - for all of it...the wonder of having a child, learning that there's so much out of our control, and that most importantly as Tobin's name reminds us every day - God is good!

The post on partum...

I'm about six months out from having Tobin and things are getting hairy over here (literally, keep reading)...so I thought it was about time for a post on this whole body after baby deal. So, I had been told just how gross I would feel after having a baby and that for as huge as you are right before you have the baby, you will look pregnant and feel icky for quite some time afterwards...fast forward to having Tobin and literally I dropped the 25-30 pounds I gained instantly. All of a sudden I could see a waist line of sorts, there was a "flat-like" quality to my stomach that hadn't been there for the last six months, it was all so thrilling! But, I got ahead of myself. See, the REAL body you're left with sets in about month five. Yeah, that's right. You only think you look great because (well in my case at least) you were HUGE. The first few months after you have the baby your body is just trying to figure out what it's going to do with itself.

Then you realize you've got a whole new body you're working with - and while I'm sure others have fared better than I have - I look something like Adam Sandler did in his scene in "Click." See picture below - and this was the best I could find, when you do a google search for Adam Sandler+Fat, things get real interesting real fast...trust me on that one.

 

So, you decide it's to the gym you must go. But guess what? You.Have.A.Baby. This may be a very obvious statement but your time table is completely flipped - you only get to do "you" when the baby is set and taken care of. In my case, that time generally comes around 7-7:30 at night. Which translates to a late night at the gym and then a quick shower followed by a collapse in bed. Don't get me wrong - the time of day I get with Tobin is by far my favorite, it's just the rest of my day (aka stupid work) makes it next to impossible to get any time away, and that's what I resent at times:) But, c'est la vie!

If you're still following along, here's the gist. Just when you think you couldn't look frumpier, have any less time to resolve said frumpiness, and you're literally using every hour of your day for a specific purpose - your post partum self takes it up a notch and you LOSE YOUR HAIR. I thought the hair loss thing was exaggerated, but no 'tis not, I'm afraid. Around month three I started losing it by the handful, but I've got thick hair, so no biggie. But want to know what sucks the most? When the hair comes back. I look like I burnt off the entire front section of my hair. No lie. I took a picture for you all (lucky you!):

It was about this time that I realized all hope is lost. So, yesterday I sunk to a new low. I was out of time (remember there is no time?!?!) and I couldn't handle my uni-brow. I was about to give Frida Kahlo a run for her money. I did the most logical thing I could think of - I shaved off the middle of my overgrown eyebrows with a nose hair trimmer. I even knew it was a bad idea at the time, but I couldn't stop myself. My hand involuntarily picked up the trimmer and did the deed.

I am sharing this as a plea for help. I think it's time for an intervention.

Help?!

A quick note of thanks...

There is something so special about sharing in the ups and downs of pregnancy/childbirth/parenting with your closest friends.

There is something even more wonderful about friends who have gone before you and share their knowledge, including their insecurities and fears, as they go along. So, just about that time where you're really wondering if you should be committed to the loony bin, that friend comes along side of you and laughs and says "oh yeah, me too." There is such comfort there - in the knowing that you aren't crazy...or perhaps aren't alone in the act of being crazy...

And the most fun of it all, is when one of those friends come out to visit and all they do is just love on your kiddo. Without comparison to their own, with no judgement, no qualifying statements...they just come along side of you and love your kid unconditionally, because that's the way they love you. I'm so lucky because one such wonderful friend came out for a visit and did just that!

Thank you, May - thanks for the visit, the mornings over coffee, the time out, the stuffed bear (Go, Ducks!), for loving so much on my boy...But most of all - thank you for all your support of the mother I am becoming.

Jumping in...

To say hello!

This is what we're up to these days...well that and lots of other things that include movement of some sort. We're either moving or eating. Oh, and as evidenced above - laughing. Kiddo's got a great sense of humor;) He laughs and yells while laughing.

And while the picture above is a little blurry, it couldn't capture Tobin more perfectly - full of excitement and missing a sock:) Always missing a sock (or socks for that matter!)...any tricks for socks that stay on? I don't believe they exist...

Of course...

There are days that I feel are very indicative of my life...this morning for example when I was walking from my office to get my tea and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the back of my door (you know the one responsible for all those phone pregnancy pics? yeah, that one.) Anyhow, thank heavens for that mirror because this is what I saw:

Yes, I am trying to draw your attention to the dark spot that would be hovering on my shirt around my nipple area. It's yelling, "Look at me!" My first thought was, "Oh my gosh, my nipple is bleeding!" Standard reaction, no? After pregnancy and breastfeeding I have come to realize my nipples are agents of their own accord and they are not to be trusted - so this really did seem like a plausible option. But I came to my sense and went in for a closer look, nope - everything was good. What was that spot??? I looked in the pocket of my shirt - what the?? Chocolate?!?!

You guys - I ate a banana chocolate chip muffin and in true lady-like fashion I must have had crumbs drop on my shirt, and one such crumb was a sole chocolate chip. That little chocolate chip found a home in my pocket and thanks to the heat I naturally radiate - started to melt!

I nearly died laughing. All by myself. In my office.

So I did what anyone would naturally do - I took a picture so I could share it with you. Aren't you happy?

Moral of the story - nipples and banana muffins are never to be trusted, particularly if chocolate is involved.

Sincerely yours,

The Dirty Nip

Letting go...

Confession - as much as I loved physically being pregnant (really, really, really loved it), I hated the emotional/mental side of the process. I was so often wrought with worry. I had to vow to put down all pregnancy books (but of course, good ol'Google was always there to entice me to the dark side!) so that I wouldn't find another thing to be worried about. I'm sure we can attribute a good 50% of this anxiousness to the miscarriage, but the other 50% - if I'm honest, that's just all me. I've never been the positive-chakra-energy-flow-optimistic-lookonthebrightside kind of person. I over-think things for a hobby. (Note to self- find a new hobby.) All this to say, there were times where it was tough and I remember thinking what relief I would have when he was here. When he was finally here and healthy - then I'd be super!

Oh, pregnant-self if you only knew how much worse it would be with the child OUTSIDE rather than IN. Hahahaha - how little I knew. My anxiety only worsened after Tobin was born and I've surprised myself with just how paranoid I can be...for example, for the first few weeks of his life I was convinced he had a fever. Absolutely positive he had a fever. I can't wait to share with this boy just how many times his mom took his temperature (ahem, in the booty) just to make sure he hadn't spiked a fever. Turns out this boy just runs warm to the touch - as do I, so I should have known better. He is half mine, right?

I remember telling a friend, that while Tobin was wonderful and easy, I wasn't prepared for how inept I would feel. All of a sudden you have this amazing and beautiful boy - YOUR boy - and you're so intrinsically connected and concerned with his well-being that in the beginning it's very hard to make sense of all the emotions you have the second after their arrival. I mean - I've never worried about other people's bowel movements, have you? I'm guessing and hoping not! But now - NOW - I can rattle off all the statistics of the day to you in rapid fire. 3-greenish/yellow, seedy, and slightly grainy.

And the day and age in which we're raising children doesn't help, right? I think we can all admit that there's an enormous amount of pressure on parents today to navigate the ridiculous amount of information heaped upon them when it comes to breastfeeding v. bottle-feeding, hitting milestones, growth charts, vaccinations, healthcare choices, independent play, cloth diapering v. disposables...I mean the list goes on and on. How did we manage before?

What's been fabulous is for as crazy as I can be - Ty is the opposite. There are no problems until a problem is actually there - I mean you could lather Tobin in honey and set him in a bear cave and Ty would think all was fine until a bear actually licked Tobin in the face. Obviously, this is a slight exaggeration, but you get my point. And I'm sure this is a good thing, because lord help us if there were TWO of me raising Tobin.

All this to say - that in my crazy-research and trying to make sure Tobin is as safe as possible I researched like a gazillion monitors. We wound up going with the monitor that not only monitors sounds but monitors MOVEMENT. And there's a little pendulum that swings back and forth that means your baby is breathing - maybe I've fallen asleep watching the pendulum... Well, Tobin is to the age now where he rolls back to front and front to back - we're mobile in a major way all of a sudden - so that means he sleeps on his tummy (AGHH, but Back is Best!), but you know what - there's nothing I can do. So, I found great comfort in the monitor. Well, about two weeks ago it gave us a false alarm. Which means the dang thing made this alarm to signal that there was no movement. You've never seen me fly out of bed so fast. Only to arrive at his crib and to see his chest rise and fall peacefully. Then the false alarm went off again that same night. We adjusted the sensitivity thinking that maybe because the air conditioning was running more often that perhaps that was messing with the monitor...then last night - AGAIN. But this time it didn't just wake me, it woke Tobin too.

So you know what guys, I turned the whole thing off. Tobin is in the room next door. I can hear him just as loud and clear as I could if I just had a monitor that produced sound. Crazy-me would never have thought I could sleep without the monitor on and on full volume - but I did. I slept soundly. Till Tobin woke up with a poopy diaper at five am, but I think I'm learning. Learning little by little that letting go of those fears, that will always be there because I love him SO STINKING MUCH, is only going to help the both of us be more at peace as we find our way together.

 

And because everything is better with pictures - here's Tobin illustrating just how good he is at letting go as he went swinging for the first time!

 

 

4/5 Months...

Oh, I'm SO overdue with this update. So, we're going to call this the four-almost-five months post and then hopefully we'll be back on track starting with six - and just thinking that we're nearing six months makes me a little verklempt! Okay, A LOT verklempt!

So we're busy over here folks...As if my tardiness doesn't give that away! Since Tobin's three month update it has been a developmental explosion. There isn't a day that goes by without something new and oh my goodness is it FUN. I am so in love with this boy - or as we've nicknamed him - our Toblerone. He's just a big chunk of sweetness!!!

What?? Don't act like you're not impressed...

Some sweet morsels about our boy right now:

• Feet are the new hands, didn't you know? He actually has sucked on his big toe. Sick and funny. 
• I thought he had no interest in rolling over, but he was doing it in secret while he slept. He's mastered tummy to back and is working on the opposite direction now.
• Umm, we are nearly crawling. FREAKING ME OUT. I thought that was later...but no, we are crawling/scooting backwards and have gotten up on all fours and moved forward. All the pieces are there, once he puts it together we are in trouble.
• We started a little bit of solids, just rice mixed with breastmilk and a splash of banana. No issue with texture, swallowing, etc...he acted as if though he's been waiting for this his whole life (all four months of it)! Oh, and he's trying to grab for the spoon...I don't think so, buddy!
• He is getting so good at his "kisses" - he grabs your face and brings it to his and then tries to suck on your mouth. I adore it.
• He is so, so, so ticklish. He cracks up so hard if you tickle his back or thighs...I need to get it on video because his laugh is hysterical!
• At his last appointment he weighed 19.2 pounds and is approximately 27 inches long! He's still a big boy.

I could go on, but to sum it up - I think our pediatrician said it best when he saw him last..."Tobin, slow down, it's OKAY to be a baby!" I couldn't agree more, my son!

Now for the goods...more pictures!

He continues to be a master of expression...

Really, Mom???

All things in the mouth at all times - seems to be this kid's motto!

Okay, okay - I'm almost done! Last picture and then we're through:)

See you later!!!

Beach trip!

In desperate need of a vacation, some down-time, and some fun...Ty and I decided that we should all take a little family vacation to Corpus Christi. We had wanted to check out the Texas beaches for a while and finally the time seemed right! My parents and Emily came along for the trip and we had a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful time. We didn't know what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised by warm waters (Gulf of Mexico, so that we should have known!), lots of waves, and super soft sand! Gotta love those southern beaches...

This was also Tobin's first time on a real vacation now that he's on his schedule - more on that to come, but taking a 4 month old on vacation and a two month old on vacation are two very different things! All this to say, kiddo stuck to his schedule like a champ and did great! He napped on the beach listening to the waves in real time vs. his sound machine:)

Now for the fun part - the pictures...Tobin's very first moments on the beach. He was a bit confused (is this my new bathtub?) but not surprisingly, as he loves the water, he loved the beach!

After much sight-seeing, there was always the required nap:)

 

Evenings consisted of too much fun playing with Aunt Emily and Grandma...

 

On Sunday we all went to the Texas State Aquarium - which was SO much fun! Tobin was enthralled...if you look closely at the collage you can see him trying to touch the jellyfish! The adults had just as much fun taking in the sights - that would be my Mom and Dad smiling at the dolphin show:)

Tobin post-aquarium visit...

Our last day, right before we hit the road home...Tobin was growing tired of pictures, and of the hat that no longer fits over his cheeks, also his shorts look horribly tight in these pictures...umm, they are size 12 mos. Looks like someone inherited his mother's thighs - sorry, kid!

Me and my boy on the beach...doesn't get much better than that!

And, I know I'm late to his four month update...guess that's how it goes with life these days...I'll be back after his appointment on Friday!