Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The post on partum...

I'm about six months out from having Tobin and things are getting hairy over here (literally, keep reading) I thought it was about time for a post on this whole body after baby deal. So, I had been told just how gross I would feel after having a baby and that for as huge as you are right before you have the baby, you will look pregnant and feel icky for quite some time forward to having Tobin and literally I dropped the 25-30 pounds I gained instantly. All of a sudden I could see a waist line of sorts, there was a "flat-like" quality to my stomach that hadn't been there for the last six months, it was all so thrilling! But, I got ahead of myself. See, the REAL body you're left with sets in about month five. Yeah, that's right. You only think you look great because (well in my case at least) you were HUGE. The first few months after you have the baby your body is just trying to figure out what it's going to do with itself.

Then you realize you've got a whole new body you're working with - and while I'm sure others have fared better than I have - I look something like Adam Sandler did in his scene in "Click." See picture below - and this was the best I could find, when you do a google search for Adam Sandler+Fat, things get real interesting real me on that one.

So, you decide it's to the gym you must go. But guess what? You.Have.A.Baby. This may be a very obvious statement but your time table is completely flipped - you only get to do "you" when the baby is set and taken care of. In my case, that time generally comes around 7-7:30 at night. Which translates to a late night at the gym and then a quick shower followed by a collapse in bed. Don't get me wrong - the time of day I get with Tobin is by far my favorite, it's just the rest of my day (aka stupid work) makes it next to impossible to get any time away, and that's what I resent at times:) But, c'est la vie!

If you're still following along, here's the gist. Just when you think you couldn't look frumpier, have any less time to resolve said frumpiness, and you're literally using every hour of your day for a specific purpose - your post partum self takes it up a notch and you LOSE YOUR HAIR. I thought the hair loss thing was exaggerated, but no 'tis not, I'm afraid. Around month three I started losing it by the handful, but I've got thick hair, so no biggie. But want to know what sucks the most? When the hair comes back. I look like I burnt off the entire front section of my hair. No lie. I took a picture for you all (lucky you!):

It was about this time that I realized all hope is lost. So, yesterday I sunk to a new low. I was out of time (remember there is no time?!?!) and I couldn't handle my uni-brow. I was about to give Frida Kahlo a run for her money. I did the most logical thing I could think of - I shaved off the middle of my overgrown eyebrows with a nose hair trimmer. I even knew it was a bad idea at the time, but I couldn't stop myself. My hand involuntarily picked up the trimmer and did the deed.

I am sharing this as a plea for help. I think it's time for an intervention.



Wendy said...

OH.MY.GOD - I am laughing and crying with you, Mama - will email you offline.

Brionna said...

Oh yes, the hair loss and regrowth thing! Such a lovely aspect of your body changing after baby. There are so many changes it is crazy! The belly will come and go as you add kiddos to your family and I have found that now that I have 3 running every which direction, it is pretty well gone since I have no time to sit down ;).

Kelley said...

HAHA funny title, btw. I'm nodding and laughing at all of it - so funny. It's so good to know we're not all alone. But if it helps, I'm having another realization as a lot of my friends have second babies - they look a lot better than they think they do. They feel the no-time frumpiness but they look a lot better so I'm SURE that's happening to you. :)

Beth and Matt said...

Well I am on the same boat with you! However as I approach the 1 year mark it does get better and everyone says it takes about a year for your body and hormones to get back to normal. So dont rush it it wall all get there is due time :-)