Tobin's Birth Story - Part Three

Part Three and no, we’re not done…I am the most annoying re-teller of any birth story ever. I apologize. Remember this was the short version? But there will be a hideous picture at the end of this post for your viewing pleasure!

My vow of silence lasted all of five seconds. We were literally on the same street as our house when I blurted out, “Now, do NOT get excited…but I think over the last 45 minutes I’ve had two contractions, and I just had the last one before we left the house.” And then I quickly followed up with ramblings about how I just don’t know if they’re actually contractions…they aren’t across my whole stomach, they’re low…blah, blah, blah. I was in serious denial. I mean after ALL the drama and the over-thinking; would it…could it…really just happen this way? The thought was too exciting for me to process. 

But I didn’t get much time to process because another contraction came on, so I told my mom that I thought I was having another one. My mom was WONDERFUL. Like oh my goodness, wonderful. I had always hoped that something very finite would signal the onset of labor, because I knew I’d be able to talk myself out of anything else…and sure enough I got exactly the opposite. 

This wasn’t finite – I couldn’t even determine if these were REALLY contractions or when they started and stopped! My mom started timing them throughout our walk, but in stealth-mode because I was still convinced this was nothing to be concerned about. To deal with my lack of confidence about what was going on, she told me just to tell her when I thought they were starting and when I thought one was subsiding.

Boy did this prove difficult! Most of our walk was spent with me saying “I think this is it…or wait, now this is it…oh now, this is really it.” And then it would be followed up minutes later by, “Okay, I think that it’s over…no it’s not, now it’s over…nope – NOW it’s over.” What I didn’t know yet, but would quickly be learning is that I had rolling contractions. The little breaks I was experiencing now would turn into no breaks within the coming hours, but I’m getting ahead of myself now, aren’t I?

Our walk took a solid 1.5 hours, and I didn’t even make it the full length of the lake. My mom, with her timing of my contractions had seen my contractions start at 15 minutes apart to now having strong and steady contractions consistently eight minutes apart, and the time between was quickly diminishing as the last few we had as we neared the house were starting to jump around from five to seven minutes apart. My face was flushed from the brisk February weather and pale with pain at the same time.

Now a quick interjection about the pain – I was still in denial of how real this all was – we all hear stories of how labor can start and stop and I wasn’t about to get ahead of myself. But by the end of the walk, I was probably hovering around a solid five on the pain scale. I could walk through most of the contraction but had to really concentrate and stop often at the peak of the pain and breathe. I’m sure we looked hilarious while we were walking. 

We got back to the house just as my Dad and Ty pulled up, we brought them up to speed on the progress that had been made over the course of the walk and as my parents left to go home and shower – I yelled that I was still planning on pizza and hot wings for the Superbowl game. They both placated to me and nodded, and then I’m sure they drove away laughing at me. 

I told Ty I wanted to keep walking, because as painful as it was, if this was really happening then progress was what I wanted and walking was doing the trick! He agreed and we started walking…but this time we didn’t even make it 25 feet away from the house. The pain couldn’t be walked through all of a sudden. So, I decided to give my body another test…I told Ty that IF we went back inside and I sat for a while and things still were happening that maybe, just maybe we would REALLY be in labor. Ty agreed. But let’s be honest, who’s not going to agree with a laboring woman? Even if that laboring woman refuses to believe what’s happening!

Here's where things start to get ridiculous. And I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but it’s a key part of the story…but Ty was hungry so as soon as I sat down at the table, you know to see if I was really in labor or not, Ty suggested having a nacho. And for those who know me, who am I to say no to a nacho? Ty made up the fattiest nacho you ever did see – complete with hot salsa and extra hot sauce. 

NOW why did I feel compelled to eat said nacho? I wasn’t even that hungry given the contractions I was going through! But I did it. I think to spite myself and prove I wasn’t really in labor. But as I ate the contractions got worse, we had stopped timing during this point…because nacho making is far more important to contraction timing, right? 

Oh, and did I mention that during said nacho making I tried to help out by cutting the avocado? Just the simple act of crossing the kitchen about did me in and I had to grip the kitchen counter with white knuckles as soon as I reached it. But you bet your bottom dollar I steadied myself to cut that avocado!

So where were we? Yes, I was eating a nacho. Complete with lots of acidic hot sauce. You know this nacho will be making another appearance in this story at this point, right? Brilliant. 

So, I sat there, trying to eat, but the contractions would not stop coming. Why I couldn’t just admit to myself that this was the real deal yet, I don’t know. Instead, I decided I would come up with another test to see if I was really in labor. I told Ty I was going to go lay in the shower and IF my contractions kept coming, then maybe we should start to think about heading to the hospital. 

Needless to say, the shower felt great but I was definitely in labor. By the time Ty came up to check on me not only was I still having contractions but they were now sometimes five and three minutes apart. Ty urged me to think about getting ready for the hospital. Now that I was admitting I was in labor, I wasn’t about to rush off to the hospital. No, I was going to do my hair and makeup! 

This was when things got really bad. I remember clinging to the walls in our bedroom and bathroom to move about and all those Bradley classes I took? BULL. Just a big bunch of bull. I did every single position in the book to try and alleviate the pain, there was NO alleviating the pain and there were no real breaks. That’s what was most alarming to me – where were those windows of reprieve they promise you? There was only extreme pain and less extreme pain at this point. But I was still determined to not run off to the hospital, so during the times of lesser pain I would try to “get ready” – this gave me something to focus on. And in times of extreme pain I couldn’t stand so I would sit on the closest available option. 

During one such time of sitting, I was on the toilet (it was closed, I was just sitting there!) and Ty was rubbing my legs and helping me get through it, when all of a sudden – THE NACHO. It was back. 

Now to paint you the full picture, we have a very narrow master bath where our shower stall and toilet all are located, so there’s just enough room for me to be sitting on the toilet and have Ty face me. But of course, Raleigh was worried about me so Raleigh had shoved himself between where Ty was squatting and I was sitting…just one big happy family! I signal to Ty that I’m going to be sick and he grabs our waste basket. I start heaving into the waste basket over Raleigh’s head while Ty tries to move my hair out of my face and hold the basket steady. It was priceless. 

After that little bit, I looked at Ty and said what he already knew – it was time to get a move on. It was now or never as far as I was concerned, I didn’t know how far along I was in the labor process but I knew that if we waited any longer I would not be able to walk down the stairs and into the car.  As we were getting ready to leave the bedroom upstairs, Ty suggested we take one last picture. I agreed and I don’t know how but I manage to smile. This was the last photo of me pregnant with Tobin, right before we took off for the hospital – 

Outrageous, huh? There was no containing my stomach at that point. Yikes!

How I eventually made it into the car, I really don’t know. Walking down the stairs was incredibly painful and climbing into the car was hideous. As we drove, I started leaking, a lot. I believe this is where my water broke, but we’re not sure because there was never ever a large “gush” for me but they didn’t have to break my water either…who really knows? 

We got checked in at the hospital and I was “checked out.” The nurse who was admitting us said they would most definitely be keeping us – I was 3 cm dilated and contractions were now 1.5 minutes apart.

How appropriate that it was the Superbowl, because it was game on!

Two Months

I feel like the tag "watch me grow" couldn't be more appropriate for these monthly check-ins on our Tobin, because (as I'm sure I'll feel many times in the future) he literally grew in front of my eyes from one hour to the next. It is so crazy to me to see someone day in and day out and still be able to recognize how much change they're undergoing!

After the blur of the first month, the second month started to feel more like a rhythm...a beautiful dance of eat, eat, play, poop, eat, play, poop. Notice the lack of sleep? Actually I can't really complain, because he's a great sleeper at night. Underscore AT NIGHT. During the day...uh, notsomuch. All those books and websites that say how much an infant at this stage should be sleeping...I guess Tobin missed that memo!?

Overall, this month can be marked by the emergence of Tobin's personality and from what we've seen so far - this guy is just loads of fun! He's so social - and as part of that, he continues to be very expressive and oh my goodness - is the kid vocal...I wouldn't go so far to declare he's going to be verbal because right now his favorite sound to make resembles the cry of a Velociraptor...so we'll see if he can corral that noise into something more verbal down the road. Here's a snapshot of Tobin at two months:

• Per our two month doctor appointment yesterday - Tobin weighs in at 16 pounds exactly and is 24.5 inches long. 
• He loves, loves, loves his hands! And is constantly trying to get his fist to his mouth to munch on it...and if he can't find his fist, his swaddle will do...as will my arm. He'll just lean over and start munching/drooling on it. Fun!
• He loves tummy time and holding his head up - he raises his eyebrows while he's at it (like it helps him?) and it often makes him look like a very surprised and old man...cracks me up every time!
• His favorite thing is the bath...we can't wait for summer over here! I see many pool days in our future.
• He's top-notch at cuddling and if he had his way, he'd always sleep cuddled next to someone. I can't say I hate this one, but I know I've got to watch it...or else we may have a two year old who doesn't want to sleep in their own bed. But while he's just two months, I'm loving it!

I could go on, but that would get boring, right? So here's some more fun pictures because he wasn't really feeling it our first time around due to those crummy vaccinations at his appointment. But when we tried again later in the day, I realized just how much harder they are already getting to take! If he's not staring at his feet, he's trying to move, and if I hold him back from moving...well, that's just so upsetting! So, we did our best and got some hysterical outtakes...

not impressed with my shenanigans...

now he thought I was funny, but laughter creates blurry pics

laughing or crying...you decide

hahaha, love this face

classic Tobin

my boy

Tobin's Birth Story - Part Two

Part One is here.

Saturday, February 4^th

After a very emotional Friday and a nearly sleepless evening that followed due to restlessness on my part about being induced, I woke exhausted and was a general mess. I had never been so tired. I had never been so plain worn out – emotionally and physically. I didn’t know what to think anymore and to be honest – I was tired of thinking about it all. As I’ve documented plenty on this blog of mine, I tend to over-think whenever given the chance…and oh how I had overthought the entire process of being induced, my pending labor experience, and just how our baby boy would be brought into the world. And seriously, thank goodness for a husband who really stepped in big-time and was able to pull me back to reality.  How he did it, I don’t know, but after a big cry and letting me verbalize all my worries, I was better. Still apprehensive, sure! But I was back on track. 

That night we promised each other to take full advantage of our last Saturday as just a couple sans kids…and it was the kind of night we love. The one where, had I not been pregnant, I would have likely wound up drinking one too many drinks in the safety of my own home. Which, if you ever really want to see me cut loose, let me play yahtzee and drink wine in my own home. It’s sure to get me wasted. SO random, yes. But apparently the homebody in me prefers getting crazy in the comfort of my own home;) So, that’s exactly what we did. Without the alcohol, obviously!

Rusted Root blasted from the speakers, I showed off a couple HAWT dance moves, and we played some serious yahtzee. And there was tons of laughter. Margot got in on the action and Raleigh sat there like the general lump he is – a cute lump – but a lump all the same. It was perfect and exactly what the doctor ordered. I went to bed happy and content. 

Sunday, February 5^th

I woke up feeling the most energized I had in a long, long, long time. In fact, I remember the first thing I said to Ty that morning being – “I feel like a new person!” In the last 24 hours I had come full circle. Feelings of exhaustion and anxiety from the day before were replaced with a sense of calm and excitement for the next morning – there was something SO amazing about knowing that our time to meet our baby was imminent. The guessing was gone, and we would be on our way the following morning to start the process that would introduce us to our son.

Ty woke just as energized as I did – he was just as excited that it was REALLY all going to happen now. After a leisurely morning we put our energy to use and with our big cups of coffee we went about packing up the rest of the labor bag and hospital bag, loading the extra pillows in the car for what would be an early start the next morning! 

Feeling like we had reached a good stopping point – we couldn’t pack everything in the car at that second – we had planned to work out. And by work out – I mean I was going to go on one last walk around my “loop.” The “loop” was about a 3-3.5 mile walk down to the lake by our house and back, and I can’t tell you how many times this pregnant lady took that walk. It was a total source of comfort, stress relief, and exercise all rolled into one. So it seemed appropriate that I go one last time.

My mom was planning to meet me at noon, so at 11:45 I went upstairs to get on my shoes. Yes, at this point it could take 15 minutes to get my shoes on! Just kidding… I gave myself the extra time, because I would have to go to the bathroom like 7 times to make sure I could make it that whole distance without peeing myself. That’s the honest truth:)

I remember sitting down on the bed, winded from the simple task of walking up our stairs, and bending over to put on my shoes…and then IT happened. All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe – a tidal wave of pain rocked over my body. I thought I had possibly moved too fast in trying to put on my shoes, so I threw myself back on the bed thinking I had strained something…only that didn’t help, the pain was still there! So with one shoe on, I did the only logical thing there was to do…I ran myself to the bathroom. And that’s where Ty found me – with one shoe on, sitting there with a confused look on my face. He did the obvious and asked me what I was doing. To which I replied, “I don’t know…I think I may have had a serious contraction, but then I thought I was going to crap my pants!” 

At this point since I felt fine, we just were hopeful that if it had been a contraction – that would mean things were moving along and that it would only improve our chances of a successful induction the next morning. But as we waited for my parents to show up, one more happened…now our hearts were racing a little bit – but there was NO WAY this was happening, right? I remember telling Ty – DO NOT GET EXCITED like a million times, when really I was just telling myself those words since Ty is by far the calmer of us two. I also made him promise to not say a word to either of my parents, because I didn’t need them to get excited either. 

My parents showed up and as Ty went to leave with my Dad to the gym, my Mom and I turned down the road to begin my “loop.” Little did I know what that loop had in store…

Five Years...

Five years ago today, I took the most important walk of my life, towards all that would be...

Five years ago today, we shared vows and prayed for what life would be like - together...

Five years ago today, we walked out of a church, and towards all the future would hold...

Five years ago today...and the road ahead has never looked brighter!

Here's to five years and so many more to come!

Things Loved for Momma & Baby - Six Week Edition

Our Tobin is just a little past six weeks and as I am discovering, he already feels like a different baby than he did just five weeks ago! I know when I was pregnant and planning for delivery/baby I scoured blogs and begged friends for their favorite products and must-haves. So, in an effort to help myself out the next time around I will be documenting my finds & favorites,  and who knows, perhaps others might find it helpful too!

#1. My Brest-Friend Nursing Pillow (we’ll refer to this as MBF). It’s been said 1,000 times, so I KNOW I’m not the first to recommend it…but really how the Boppy stays in business, I just do not know?!?! I had a Boppy too and seriously I flung it off of me the first time I tried using it. When Tobin got moved to the NICU for jaundice we were only allowed to have him out from under the bili-lights to nurse, and we were only given 20-30 minutes at that, so of course we wanted that time to be as relaxed and productive for nursing as possible. The lactation consultant let me borrow the hospital grade MBF and I seriously had my mom run to Babies-R-Us before the next feeding so I could have my own. I don’t know what it is, but the thing is magic. It’s been my #1 accessory these last 6 weeks fo sho! 

OH, and a note to all you MBF users. You will grow frustrated by the lack of MBF covers available, but go online to BuyBuyBaby and there are some seriously cute ones! I bought this one and this one and they seriously look like vintage DVF prints in person. You will lactate and be cute at the same time;)

#2. New Momma Bottom Spray. Yes, you read right. And chances are, if you have a vaginal delivery you too will wind up with a new momma bottom. Which is really a nice way of saying you’re in for a face-lift of an entirely different sort - where by the word face you should substitute butt and where we say lift you should substitute again for the words ripped and open. But do not fear, much like Humpty-Dumpty, they do put you all back together again! And when they do, you will love this spray. Now, the whole post-partum bathroom routine has been covered extensively in the blogosphere, and as others have testified, just do it all. All of it. And nab as many of those peri-bottles as you can. My advice is grab one for each bathroom in your house. But that being said, I hadn’t read about this spray and picked it up on a whim two days before going into labor. And while I loved the lidocaine spray they gave me, this was so nice because it was the one item in the routine that didn’t smell “hospital” to me. And trust me, you’re ready to wash that hospital smell off as soon as you get home. 

#3. and #4. go together… From the same over-priced organic line (geesh, I’m such a sucker, huh!?) comes – Monthly Comfort Tea. So, after the birth of Tobin and the emergence of my “new bottom” (see above), I was anemic from blood loss. I was prescribed iron supplements to help and let me tell you…those things are the devil. I don’t know if it was just me, but the iron caused me to become constipated like I’ve never been in my entire life. And you should know where this is going…but constipation + new bottom = no bueno. So, I stopped taking the iron supplements. Only to run a low-grade fever that I am convinced was one part anemia related and one part my body fighting off mastitis. That’s when I discovered this tea, which has iron in it! It was not only gently on my stomach but it tastes GREAT…win-win all around. 

Now for #4, the hospital gives you stool softeners immediately following delivery and you’re supposed to continue taking them to avoid constipation, because no woman who pushes out a baby should have to push out anything else for quite some time…but in my case those stool softeners were a big fat joke. While lamenting to Kelley of my nether-region woes, she shared that she had the same issue of the stool softeners not working and told me to get a vegetable-based laxative. Thank you again Kelley and thank you Target brand vegetable-based laxatives. I bought two bottles. And they worked like a charm. I will have them on-hand immediately next time around. 

#5. Garnier BB Cream – Have you guys heard about BB cream? Apparently it’s the next big thing to be in every woman’s makeup bag…or at least that’s what the March issue of Vogue told me. And as we all know, when Vogue speaks – you listen. They had a list of the companies currently producing BB Creams, and the cheapest on the market was Garnier. So obviously, what’s a post-partum gal to do? Run to her nearest Target to test-drive the goods, that’s what! It’s an all-in-one cream – brightens, erases fine lines, SPF, minerals, plus light coverage for uneven tone (no, I am not being paid by Garnier for this endorsement;)!) anyhow, the stuff really works like it says and I’m using the cheapest one out there…I bet Dior’s is fantastic! But I’ll be sticking to the cheap stuff for now. They really should market this stuff to the post-partum audience, because if all I’m able to do is put this stuff on after a shower – I at least feel more presentable and like a better version of myself. Which you want badly in the days and weeks that follow having a baby. 

#6. – Last but not least for this round, Summer Infant’s RestAssured Co-Sleeper. My-oh-my, how quickly you learn that if you said “I’ll never do x…” when it comes to raising a child, that you will be slapped across the face with you “I’ll never” and you’ll be doing exactly what you said you’d never do. I was in the I’ll never co-sleep camp. But guess what, so far the thing is a CHARM. I mean, I’m in love with it. Tobin, we have discovered, is a mover and talker in his sleep. As a result, he will (without fail) wake himself up from his shenanigans. This sleeper allows us to still training Tobin to sleep by himself and not on or against me, but now I can throw my arm over him and have him sleep for seriously another hour to two hours in the middle of the night before he has enough time to wake himself up from all his moving and shaking. This also gives any new-momma a peace of mind to hear her baby breathing and be able to check on them without leaving the comfort of their bed, so with it we’ve gained the best sleep yet. 

So that concludes our 6-week edition. I think I’ll revisit our list and check back in with a new one come six months…we shall see! If any of my readers have recommendations for the months to follow, go ahead and share your must-haves in the comments section! Suggestions are always welcome!

Stay tuned…more birth story to follow soon.

Tobin's Birth Story - Part One

A little preface to share: I started working on this thing like week #2. But I got way out of control. Like I was writing a novella, folks. To illustrate, the full version I had previously started had the birth story beginning over two years ago…and while it did in fact make sense to the story, I decided to err on the side of brevity (and I know you’re laughing because the length of this piece doesn’t seem to reflect such an effort to be brief, but trust me, I spared you!). So, with that being said…here we go!

Monday, January 30^th –

Lose mucous plug. Note to readers: If the word mucous plug makes you unsettled or you feel as though I’m sharing too much information, I recommend you avoid the rest of this story. Okay, so where were we? Oh, yes. My mucous plug was lost – hooray, me! Or not so much, because as I would learn, apparently I only lost part of it, as I had a mucous wall. Seriously. I must have housed the mucous wall of China in there.

Tuesday, January 31^st –

Head to my doctor’s appointment, at this point we had shelved the c-section talk because while our little guy was still tracking on the bigger side, my doctor felt really confident in our ability to go for a vaginal delivery, as did I. When I asked her what she thought he would weigh or how big he would be and she gave me the answer of “9-ish.” And I smiled and said, “Okay, we can do this!” At this point, I was all systems go. I was 90% effaced and nearly 2 cm dilated. Things were progressing! As any full-term pregnant lady would likely agree, at this point in the game you are just.so.ready. There are no words for how ready I was to get the show on the road. AND I was just so proud of myself – I lost my mucous plug! Now, I knew this could mean nothing, but you so hope it does.  

So after the usual of checking our vitals – which all looked great, I jumped at the chance to have my membranes stripped. After the procedure my doctor told me that I had 24-48 hours for it to work IF it would work at all to help move things along. 

Then she said, “We need to talk about you going past your due date.” And as soon as the words came out of her mouth I was ready for it, in fact I had even mentioned to Ty on our way to the appointment - that we were definitely on track to having the induction talk. Given our past conversations about his projected size, I knew she wasn’t going to let me go much past my due date.

Knowing how likely this conversation would be, I had already proactively been doing everything I could to avoid it and help move labor along – I was on a rigorous schedule of raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil, and Dr. Christopher’s Birth Prep herbs. I was a walking herbivore at that point. I was so VIP at the local vitamin/naturopathic store.

Before we left that appointment, it was decided. We were going to wait and see what might happen over the remainder of that week – but I was on the books for an induction on Monday, February 6^th at 7 am.

Friday, February 3^rd –

Membranes stripped for second time. Again we had 24-48 hours for it to “work.” But given the outcome of the last effort, I was doubtful. Depressingly, I was even slightly less effaced than my previous visit because the little guy had actually moved up higher – he was fighting descent at all costs! There is nothing more discouraging than going backwards, let me tell ya!

Out of curiosity I asked my doctor if she happened to be the on-call doctor that weekend, and she wasn’t. Of course! As we said goodbye you could tell we both were fairly certain it wouldn’t matter if she was on-call or not and that we were going to see one another first thing on Monday am when I checked in for my induction.

To be continued…

One Month

Yeah, I know...I know...technically his official four week anniversary was yesterday, but I'm going with date birthdays for consistencies sake:) That and it gave me another day to take his pictures, because yesterday we kicked it into overdrive (again) with the eating and the 2-2.5 hour feeding schedule leaves me with little time to snap pictures. But today even with our little guy's love of eating, we managed!

So, a whole month! Can you believe it? I can't. But then there are times where I feel like I've known him forever and it feels so much longer...such a weird thing this new life and adjusting to a newborn. They really are something else, aren't they?

A few quick notes about Tobin at one month:

• Ummm, he's nearly 14 pounds. Fatty-boom-blatty.
• He hates (and I mean really hates) burping. And anything associated with the burping process. This includes spitting up. Ty and I discovered that he was actually holding spit-up in his cheeks only to choke on it when we laid him down - stinker! 
• He loves to be talked to, and is already doing his very best to try and coo/grunt back in response...he's such an attentive listener. 
• He's still a master of facial expressions, Zoolander ain't got nuthin' on Tobin's rendition of blue steel:) 

But enough with all the words, right? Pictures are SO much more fun...so I'll leave you with a couple extras from our one-month photo shoot today;)

We'll be back again soon...