2014

I feel like I have to start with a disclaimer about how I never write, blah blah blah...but we all know that song and dance. I'm going to start using this space to write about more than just home stuff and it may be of very little to no interest to y'all so feel free to skip!

So  the other stuff - it will be a lot of work related posts and vision/planning posts. And to be very honest I don't even know that that means yet but I know that I crave an outlet to write my thoughts on motherhood, work, and how I balance struggle with it all. I've been working through Lara Casey's 2014 posts on goal setting (see here: http://laracasey.com/blog/) and was SO struck by this paragraph:

You see, though, God doesn’t tell us to seek pleasure or a life where we just coast.  He sometimes calls us in seasons of our lives to rise up and let Him work profoundly in us to accomplish far more than we can on our own.  I’m in one of those seasons and I am praying for Him to use me. In these seasons, and always, He tells us to work hard and let Him fill us with a kind of rest that a vacation just can’t accomplish. It’s 20 levels deeper. If you read Proverbs 31, you see a woman who works hard for what matters, rising at dawn and using all she has for her family and others. And then she rests in Him. But, lately I’ve been falling into the trap of self-doubt during some of that rest time. My brain has been spinning a bit, thinking that I cannot write a great book or be a great mom or have as good of a year in business as last year. But. But! Then I remember the greatest lesson I learned from 2013:His plans are far bigger than mine.  He is bigger than me and what I can do on my own. He is in control. My job is to simply trust and obey.

SO good right? I tell you, while I'm not writing a book I could have written that exact paragraph. It could not sum up more where I'm at in this phase of my life. And I can't tell you how many times I whine about how hard I have to work and that it just doesn't "feel fair." And beyond that just how very much I struggle with self-doubt. It may be my #1 stumbling block - to all aspects in my life!

But over the course of this last year I've really come about to understand that I've been called to this moment in my life and that I DO enjoy my work and I do enjoy my home life and that I don't have to have one without the other. I will be very honest in saying that I don't want to work forever, at least not at the level which I operate currently, and that I dream of staying home one day with my boys. But those are my dreams and my only real task right now is to follow HIS plans and where those plans lead I don't know.

I'm hoping to do more listening in 2014 to HIS desires for my life, because I know that will only take me to good places.

Happy 2014!