Ten months...

Oh hey! Look at us - ten months...I can't believe it! It's been a rough week and how I'm sitting here busting out this blog post, I do not know. Tobin's had his first fever and we got over that hump to be followed by his first bout of diarrhea (too much information? sorry...), but anyways, that's where we're at. We had a doctor's appointment yesterday that was supposed to be for his fever, but of course by the time we got there the fever was dropping and he had no symptoms and was as happy as could be. We turned it into our long overdue nine month appointment and I have real stats now - the kiddo is holding steady between 25-26 pounds at 25.5 on the nose and he's 31 inches long. I think he's keeping the weight down thanks to all the walking he's been doing lately.

Tobin and his partner in crime...

Yup, walking. Tobin - oh, Tobin. You started walking at 9.5 months exactly. You are indeed a crazy boy. You have been dabbling in the pulling up and trying to walk phase for a while and I thought you were happy there, but you woke from a nap one day and it was a whole new ballgame and you had decided you were going to walk - it was written across your face. In fact, I called Ty and told him "He woke up and has decided he's going to walk." And sure enough - you did and you haven't looked back. Now, of course you fall plenty. But you can walk around the bottom floor of the house - and have done many a stretch from the living room all the way back to the washer/dryer area without dropping. And, you're fast. I think if you would slow down you'd fall less...just a hint;)

I apologize in advance for sharing this video twice, here and on Facebook. The quality sucks but I'm posting here for posterity's sake. Also, it must be said - why do I sound so ridiculous?



In other fun developments you wave bye/hi when you feel like it - not at all consistently - but when you feel like it. And you clap, but it's kind of backwards, so it looks more like you're trying to wipe your hands off, it's funny. Noises and the imitation of them is your favorite and you are currently enjoying growling or clearing your throat loudly. It's very becoming when we're out places, thank you for that!

Evenings at the park and swings - a winning combo!

This last month brought with it Tobin's first Thanksgiving - which was much too fun and thankfully, also very relaxing! And now we're just THREE weeks away from Christmas...oh and then we're about SIX weeks away from a certain someone's first birthday. Pass the tissues, folks. I'm already picking out songs for his one year slideshow and planning a blurb book. You know, in all my spare time;)

Tobin and Grandma at Thanksgiving. Tobin and I share the same feelings about food, obvs.

Ten months and counting...and we're having a ball!

Nine months!

Here we are...nine months! I tried to get back on track this month with taking pictures in his chair with his bear, but it is NOT easy. The boy just doesn't really sit still and trying to do it alone is just a hazard to us both. Grandma was over, so we took advantage of her help and attempted some shots and this post will have the best of that little shoot:) If I'm being honest - this is really what about 99% of the pictures look like:

You think I'm just going to sit here? Hahahaha...

So, nine months and where to begin? This last month has been all about connections for us which is so neat! Like routines are starting to make a lot of sense to him and you can tell he KNOWS things vs. he's just a baby along for the ride. Like every night, when we're done nursing I say "Where's Tobin's turtle?" and almost every time now he will look up above to his little turtle nightlight and then we stand up, turn it on, and kiss goodnight. And he smiles every single time it lights up - and you can see he expects it. That's so cool to me!

Here's some other fun bits about our little dear at nine months:

• He shakes his head no - a lot. He's been doing this actually for a long time (and being the crazy person I am, I was seriously worried there was something neurologically wrong at first, bc could he really be shaking his head no?!! - turns out it's just his mom with problems with her head...) but now you can really tell he uses it to relay no or to play back with you. SO fun!
• He's making lots and lots of noises, mama's a popular one. But his favorite thing is to do this breathy "pa-ba-pa-ba" while kind of blowing raspberries. Because raspberries are how we roll over here.
• He is obsessed with trying to walk and he really thinks he CAN walk. Which is problematic. Because - newsflash, Tobin - you can't. Thankfully he does understand gravity a bit more now and has a little trepidation (there were a few weeks where this was nonexistent), but he's definitely getting closer with every day. Tonight was SO exciting because he took at least seven unassisted steps going between me and my mom. But that was over a couple tries.
• He continues to be a wonderfully easy boy - he is just SO joyful and funny. He's very flirtatious. Even when he was really feeling down earlier this week (he has FOUR teeth coming in on top at the same time), you take him out to the store and it's like a light flip switches. He turns it ON for people. It's so ridiculous that at times it's a bit embarrassing. He will call attention to himself by yelling really loud and then will give people the most smirky grin you've ever seen. He's a performer. 
• He's really tall, I don't know exactly how tall but he just feels so so long lately. Oh, and he's 25-26 pounds, depends on the day. Thanks to the height thing, we also made the move to the big boy car seat this past month. It's been wonderful - I love it and he's much happier. 

Okay, I could go on and on, but I'll finish out with some more pictures!

He didn't want to sit in the chair, he wanted to stand up and peer over the top, so we went with it...

All he really wants to do. And also baby zombie and scary pug on the right;)

And why does ten months sound so much like 12 months? I still feel safe in the nine month zone for some reason, like he's not that close to being one. Oh, how I hope this month takes it time...we'll be back soon!

Seven Months!

So, seven months! SEVEN MONTHS, people.

I don't know - we've tipped over into the now closer to a year territory and that is crazy to me. Just crazy. But here we are - and where to begin? Six months was a big one in our world - we mastered crawling, had two teeth show up (finally - the drool!), and just as quickly as we mastered crawling we decided that was boring stuff and have moved on to standing and trying to walk. Now, I'm sure that this process will take a while but really the whole standing thing has added a whole new dimension to our lives. Particularly bedtime...lay him down and he pops right back up. He now yells for me while standing and it's amazing how much louder he sounds now that he can cry for me from above the crib vs. laying in it.

Oh, and the standing/walking ventures have also made me question this child's IQ level. Seriously, NO CONCEPT of gravity or fear. Unlike some kiddos I've watched who tentatively attempt to walk while holding on to the side of the couch, table, etc...no, Tobin literally smiles and lets go and then looks genuinely confused (and sometimes offended!) when he finds himself on his back after falling. So needless to say, he requires constant (as if it weren't constant before) supervision. We've done the baby-proofing thing, but let's be honest we can't very well pad our walls/floors so we think we may be in for some fun times ahead - say a prayer for him now, will ya? Or better yet, say a prayer for me!

But really. Oh man, I can't even put into words how much I've fallen in love with this boy. I think I've said this before but sure you love them the minute they enter the world but then this relationship begins to form because you get to know them...you get to see their little personality develop and this guy is just the best. And while he's "so boy" and as active as you can be - he has a really gentle spirit and he is just the happiest kid you've ever met. He has this fabulous laugh and he opens his mouth all wide and his eyes get squinty and I'm pretty sure he's got dimples in BOTH cheeks. 

But enough with the words, here's a lot of pictures to catch you up on the last month!

We tried to capture the standard bear+ Tobin photo, these were are attempts...thanks to Julie for our favorite onesie!

We still really, really, really love bath time!

Standing+eating+drooling = Tobin's favorite.

This was his first time ever standing up in his crib, he was very proud!

These are my most favorite pictures taken to date, they are quintessential Tobin. Love that face!

Where-oh-where will this month take us!? We can't wait for what's ahead!

The Half Yearly

I look forward to the half yearly sale at Nordstrom - the "half yearly" of my baby boy's life...not as much. Don't get me wrong - I'm so very blessed and really there is not a single day that goes by where I don't look at him and think - "Wow, he's mine." So, I'm happy we're here and we're healthy. But today was a bit emotional for me (I know, I know - what am I going to do at the year mark?!?!) because of just how amazing these last six months have been and that I really can't believe we've reached the half yearly mark.
Today I really wanted to stop time. Just a little.

But time marches on - or in Tobin's case...crawls on! Can you believe it? He officially started really crawling the day before his six month birthday - so.much.fun! I'm sure I won't be saying that once he picks up speed and the newness wears off, but right now, Ty and I are in just as much amazement of it all as he is:)

So where are we at six months?

• Tobin is 22 pounds and 28 inches. Yup. We get lots of stares and questions about his size as of late...yesterday leaving Target a lady asked me turn around so she "could see the face of my baby, because she had been staring at his amazing thighs for too long." I happily obliged:) He can sit by himself from the crawling position (another fancy new trick!), and he loves to dance. His favorite happens to be what we call the "granite dance" - which is just when you turn on Chris Brown (I really need to start downloading the edited versions of my favorite dance music, huh?) and you let his feet hit the granite counter tops...he's got some moves. I'll have to video it soon!
• Good eater. I was relaying this to our pediatrician at today's appointment and he kind of laughed and was like, "Well with his height and weight, I kind of assumed he loves to eat..." Since introducing rice/fruits, the only thing that's been a no-go has been peaches. Everything else is welcome!
• He's just a lot of fun. I know everyone's got to feel that way about their kid, but really - Tobin is just a joy to be around. We call him Joy Boy (we've got major rhyming skillz over herrre - represent!). He's always quick to give you a smile and a laugh. The best are the ones right after he wakes up - there's something about that sleepy face and big gummy smile that's impossible to resist.
• He has pretty much moved on from snuggling, there's too much to see. And since I miss that so much, we still get up once in the middle of the night for a feeding and while I know I could train him out of it, I don't want to. How bad is that? I love those 15 minutes of alone time I get with him where he's all cuddly and just wants me. I'm pathetic. I know it as I type it. But oh, he is just so sweet!
• Speaking of sleep, he is a super scheduled kind of guy. Regular naps and at night he goes down by 7:30 and sleeps till roughly 8:00. 

As always, I could go on...but really the bottom line is that we are just so blessed. And while Tobin has been doing the bulk of the growing over these last six months, when I think back on where we started - it seems Ty and I have been growing right along side of him and I'm so thankful - for all of it...the wonder of having a child, learning that there's so much out of our control, and that most importantly as Tobin's name reminds us every day - God is good!

4/5 Months...

Oh, I'm SO overdue with this update. So, we're going to call this the four-almost-five months post and then hopefully we'll be back on track starting with six - and just thinking that we're nearing six months makes me a little verklempt! Okay, A LOT verklempt!

So we're busy over here folks...As if my tardiness doesn't give that away! Since Tobin's three month update it has been a developmental explosion. There isn't a day that goes by without something new and oh my goodness is it FUN. I am so in love with this boy - or as we've nicknamed him - our Toblerone. He's just a big chunk of sweetness!!!

What?? Don't act like you're not impressed...

Some sweet morsels about our boy right now:

• Feet are the new hands, didn't you know? He actually has sucked on his big toe. Sick and funny. 
• I thought he had no interest in rolling over, but he was doing it in secret while he slept. He's mastered tummy to back and is working on the opposite direction now.
• Umm, we are nearly crawling. FREAKING ME OUT. I thought that was later...but no, we are crawling/scooting backwards and have gotten up on all fours and moved forward. All the pieces are there, once he puts it together we are in trouble.
• We started a little bit of solids, just rice mixed with breastmilk and a splash of banana. No issue with texture, swallowing, etc...he acted as if though he's been waiting for this his whole life (all four months of it)! Oh, and he's trying to grab for the spoon...I don't think so, buddy!
• He is getting so good at his "kisses" - he grabs your face and brings it to his and then tries to suck on your mouth. I adore it.
• He is so, so, so ticklish. He cracks up so hard if you tickle his back or thighs...I need to get it on video because his laugh is hysterical!
• At his last appointment he weighed 19.2 pounds and is approximately 27 inches long! He's still a big boy.

I could go on, but to sum it up - I think our pediatrician said it best when he saw him last..."Tobin, slow down, it's OKAY to be a baby!" I couldn't agree more, my son!

Now for the goods...more pictures!

He continues to be a master of expression...

Really, Mom???

All things in the mouth at all times - seems to be this kid's motto!

Okay, okay - I'm almost done! Last picture and then we're through:)

See you later!!!

Three Months

Where do we even begin? This last month was bittersweet because it brought with it my return to working outside of the home, and let me tell ya - not spending every day with this little guy for all hours of the day is not my idea of fun. I know some people are ready for maternity leave to end, I have to say, I do not fall in that camp. BUT we are making the best of it and it definitely makes me treasure every single moment I'm home. I just can't wait to soak up that boy of mine and be with him.

And those times I'm with him bring so much happiness that they far outweigh the bad...because OH MY GOODNESS is he getting to be so much fun. I am absolutely loving this stage right now! There's so many connections being made and his personality comes out a little more each day. Here's a little glimpse of our Tobin at three months:

• He continues to love love love his bath time. BUT now I seriously emerge from bath time looking like I've just bathed a dog. This is no exaggeration. He kicks and splashes like no other. It takes his breath away and then he just goes at it again - really cracks me up.
• Oh, how this kid loves reading! I thought - sure you start reading to them as early as you can because it will form good habits and it will be part of his bedtime routine...but no! SO incredible to watch him take it in and react...and I cry every time. Really. Amazes me so much I cry. His favorites are Dinosaur vs. Bedtime and That's Not My Dinosaur.
• His hands continue to be a favorite past-time. He found his thumb and started sucking it, only till the next day when he discovered that he likes as many fingers in his mouth as possible. I am nearly convinced he's teething because he is constantly gumming his hands/fingers. Oh, and the drool. Yuck. We have a total drool-monster. 
• He's smiling and talking more and more each day - in fact today has been the first time where he full on belly-laughed multiple times. And wouldn't you know it - it was because I was yelling at Margot to not lick him. Oh the fun those two are going to have...I can see it now! Right now I can hear him talking to Ty downstairs as I'm upstairs typing this entry out - he just doesn't stop once you get him started. Oh, and he's LOUD. 
• He weighs about 17.5 pounds and is about 26.5 inches long...but this is all done at home with our scale and measuring tape, so we're not sure just how accurate that is, but we'll report back with official stats from the doctor next month!

Now for the fun - some pictures AND a couple videos of him with Grandma reading!

Dad and Tobin reading...SO into it!

Getting soooo...big!

That's our news for now:) Have a wonderful week! If we're with it, we may have another post before month four...but I'm not holding my breath on that one!

Tobin's Birth Story - The Finale

Part Four – and FINAL really. FINAL. Figured I better wrap this thing up within Q1 of the kiddo’s life;) Oh, and MORE pictures - worth the wait, right??

So we were staying! I will admit that I was a little disappointed to only be 3 cm, but now that I was completely effaced and I knew my contractions were so close together, I found a lot of comfort in knowing that I was where I was going to be to have the baby. And speaking of those contractions – in the time it took us to get from home to the hospital they had only escalated and in a major way. I was really working now to stay focused and I found myself doing some intense breathing/singing stuff. I would alternate between very loud ooh’s and ahh’s – Ty later joked that it was quite peaceful, like I was running vocal scales before a big performance. I guess I was unleashing my inner diva? 

Now after we were admitted they continued with the check-in process – getting me in to a hospital gown, on the bed for monitoring, etc… We discussed with our nurse that we had a birth plan that had been signed off by our doctor and that we had hoped to avoid consistent monitoring, we wanted to be able to move (Hahahaha, as if I could move at that point!), and all those other desires we had for our birth. We were met with a very snotty and abrupt response of “Well, your doctor isn’t on call. So none of that stands now, I have to get sign-off from the on-call doctor…so till then you’ll have to follow procedures.” 

Oh man. This is where I started to do some major internal panicking. Not that I didn’t have the willingness to be flexible for safety, but the whole purpose of having our doctor so intrinsically involved with the birth planning was to avoid ALL of what the nurse had just told me. Now, thankfully this nurse was just a jerk and it was the end of her shift almost immediately after she said that to me, I didn’t even have time to complain!

Then in walked Sue. Talk about a God-send. I could not have asked for a better nurse. She was much older, had been a nurse for nearly 40 years, and had a very quiet and calm demeanor. She immediately acknowledged our birth plan and started working on facilitating our requests…I just remember thinking – she’s here from 7 pm to 7 am, please let this baby come before her shift is up! She wanted to get us off the monitor as we had requested, but our little guy’s heartbeat was all over the place. Sometimes, very scarily so...so we were trying to figure out what position was best for him to labor in before we took off the monitor. This part was just awful, because at this point all I wanted to do was hold in any position. Movement was horrible and laying on my left side was the worst, but of course, he was doing better when I laid on my left side. 

Now, as part of our birth plan we had written that I did not want to be asked if I wanted pain medication but rather, we would let someone know if I had reached that point. (HAHAHAHA). Sue – angel that she was – totally followed these plans but smart lady said, “Now, I know your birth plan has spelled out some wishes regarding pain medication, which is great, but I just want to let you know how the timing of such medication works at our hospital so that you can make an informed decision if that time comes.” And I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of this – but Sue went on to explain that when/if you finally request pain medication it can take a long time to happen. You’ve got to get the anesthesiologist to come over (and they’re not always easily accessible at a smaller hospital like ours!), and you’ve got paperwork, prepping, etc…she said it can take upwards of an hour. I muttered an okay in between my scales as she walked out the door. 

I immediately looked up at Ty and said “I think I’ve got to get the epidural.” I was met with an immediate okay. At this point I think I could have said I wanted a lobotomy and Ty would have agreed. You could tell he had never been so worried for me and concerned about how much pain I was in…I’m sure he was equally as happy that I was planning to find some relief. I knew that if I had continued at the rate I was going, that I wouldn’t have had the energy and strength to push. Remember how I mentioned that my contractions were rolling? Before the epidural talk I remember just looking at Ty and saying “they aren’t stopping.” I wasn’t looking at the machine that monitored my contractions and if I had, I would have known. But Ty had been – and he knew. As did that dear lovely nurse, Sue.

 

Sue walked back in and I blurted out, “I want the epidural.” Sue very quietly said, “I thought that might be the case and I stopped the anesthesiologist from leaving, I’ll get things ready.” Hallelujah! The epidural was CAKE. I was so focused on the prize of some relief that I was all over what I needed to do, who cares if I was contracting?!? The anesthesiologist actually laughed and said she almost needed me to not “curl” so much over the pillow. I was all about it you guys – you want me to curl over a pillow? I will curl like you’ve never seen! And I seriously thought getting an epidural would hurt – didn’t feel a thing? Not a sting, not a prick, not a single thing. 

Now a word about the epidural, after some debate with the anesthesiologist about where my pain was, she agreed to give me a very low dose – because I was so concerned about losing feeling in my legs. But she did tell me that if I needed to up the dosage, to use my clicker to do so and that if that wasn’t enough because of the low dosage she gave me – that they would have to come in and adjust but that it wouldn’t be a problem to do so if I couldn’t manage the pain with what she had given me. 

The epidural took about twenty minutes to really set-in and what a DREAM. Seriously. I could still feel my legs, I felt like myself – and I could still feel contractions but just barely so – no pain, more pressure. Hard to describe, but I felt like I had stumbled across the “goldilocks” concoction – everything was “just right!” And wouldn’t you know it – Tobin’s heart rate totally leveled out and he was also apparently as happy as could be. 

Funny note about this picture - hated that other nurse so much I had Ty go write Sue's name in as soon as she started:) I didn't even want to look at the other nurse's name:)

 Sue checked me out right after the epidural and I was at a six – and now this is where the story takes a boring turn. From then on out, it was just about as wonderful as of an experience we could have hoped for. We were largely left alone, Sue kept our checks to a minimum, and with each check she made I had made wonderful progress. I was dilated to a nine within a couple of hours but Tobin was still a little too high to start pushing. From roughly midnight to 2 am we just let my body “labor the baby down.” Till finally it was looking like it was close to go-time! Sue wasn’t completely happy with the fact that Tobin still wasn’t as engaged as we would have hoped he would be, but she thought a few practice pushes to get things moving would help. She left to let the on-call doctor know we were going to start in the next hour. Ty and I had a few moments of “oh my gosh this is happening” and lots of prayers were said for this next stage – which we knew would be a lot of work. 

This is what those hours in waiting looked like...just listening to my birth playlist and at total peace.

 I so clearly remember the minute we really started pushing, they broke away the bottom half of the bed, and turned on the delivery lights. The on-call doctor was awesome and I couldn’t have loved her more…she kept the lights to a minimum and it was really pretty peaceful. In the beginning of course – and then about 45 minutes into pushing things got really serious. It takes a while to find your groove with pushing and with as low of an epidural as I had, I could feel the contractions but it still took me some time to figure out how to make my pushing the most effective. 

And remember my low dosage of an epidural? The doctor and Sue kept telling me I could up my dosage with my little clicker, but I was so focused on pushing, that I really didn’t make the most use of that. I’m telling you – once I got in the zone of the pushing – I was in the ZONE. It became clear while we were pushing that Tobin was not going to come easily, the doctor was concerned about his shoulder width and even told me that IF it came down to it, she would do an episiotomy to get him out. Man, I tell ya, just hearing the word episiotomy got me focused. All this to say – I wasn’t so focused on my clicker and upping my pain medicine. BIG REGRET. That whole “ring of fire” business – why just a ring? Let’s be honest and call it what it is – a GIANT HOLE OF FIRE. 

Pushing was SO intense. Like I can’t even really sum up into words the effort, and I can totally tell you that more times than once I had images in my head of me being wheeled into surgery with Tobin’s head stuck and not being able to get him out…it just felt like it took FOREVER. My whole face started to feel swollen from squeezing everything together with every push – I felt like one of those roided out guys you see in the gym who have to yell to get out the last set on the bench press. And yell I did at the end, my friends. Yell, grunt, whatever it took – I was going to do it.

I remember when things started to get close to the finish line – I would see just how excited Ty, Sue, and the doctor would be – and they were SO encouraging. And then that was it – all of a sudden all the pain was washed away with a huge push of relief that brought with it our son. 

Our Tobin. The name we had picked out seven years earlier for our once and future son - he was here.

minutes old

Love that face!

This is what pushing did to my face...me, Tobin, and our awesome team!

Getting to know one another

In love

 And of course, that’s really where our story begins…

Tobin – we are so abundantly blessed to have you in our lives. In the short amount of time you’ve been with us, you have already taught us and given us so much. You are a delight. That’s really the best way to describe you. You made us a mother and a father – parents. And for that we couldn’t be more thankful. 

Tobin's Birth Story - Part Three

Part Three and no, we’re not done…I am the most annoying re-teller of any birth story ever. I apologize. Remember this was the short version? But there will be a hideous picture at the end of this post for your viewing pleasure!

My vow of silence lasted all of five seconds. We were literally on the same street as our house when I blurted out, “Now, do NOT get excited…but I think over the last 45 minutes I’ve had two contractions, and I just had the last one before we left the house.” And then I quickly followed up with ramblings about how I just don’t know if they’re actually contractions…they aren’t across my whole stomach, they’re low…blah, blah, blah. I was in serious denial. I mean after ALL the drama and the over-thinking; would it…could it…really just happen this way? The thought was too exciting for me to process. 

But I didn’t get much time to process because another contraction came on, so I told my mom that I thought I was having another one. My mom was WONDERFUL. Like oh my goodness, wonderful. I had always hoped that something very finite would signal the onset of labor, because I knew I’d be able to talk myself out of anything else…and sure enough I got exactly the opposite. 

This wasn’t finite – I couldn’t even determine if these were REALLY contractions or when they started and stopped! My mom started timing them throughout our walk, but in stealth-mode because I was still convinced this was nothing to be concerned about. To deal with my lack of confidence about what was going on, she told me just to tell her when I thought they were starting and when I thought one was subsiding.

Boy did this prove difficult! Most of our walk was spent with me saying “I think this is it…or wait, now this is it…oh now, this is really it.” And then it would be followed up minutes later by, “Okay, I think that it’s over…no it’s not, now it’s over…nope – NOW it’s over.” What I didn’t know yet, but would quickly be learning is that I had rolling contractions. The little breaks I was experiencing now would turn into no breaks within the coming hours, but I’m getting ahead of myself now, aren’t I?

Our walk took a solid 1.5 hours, and I didn’t even make it the full length of the lake. My mom, with her timing of my contractions had seen my contractions start at 15 minutes apart to now having strong and steady contractions consistently eight minutes apart, and the time between was quickly diminishing as the last few we had as we neared the house were starting to jump around from five to seven minutes apart. My face was flushed from the brisk February weather and pale with pain at the same time.

Now a quick interjection about the pain – I was still in denial of how real this all was – we all hear stories of how labor can start and stop and I wasn’t about to get ahead of myself. But by the end of the walk, I was probably hovering around a solid five on the pain scale. I could walk through most of the contraction but had to really concentrate and stop often at the peak of the pain and breathe. I’m sure we looked hilarious while we were walking. 

We got back to the house just as my Dad and Ty pulled up, we brought them up to speed on the progress that had been made over the course of the walk and as my parents left to go home and shower – I yelled that I was still planning on pizza and hot wings for the Superbowl game. They both placated to me and nodded, and then I’m sure they drove away laughing at me. 

I told Ty I wanted to keep walking, because as painful as it was, if this was really happening then progress was what I wanted and walking was doing the trick! He agreed and we started walking…but this time we didn’t even make it 25 feet away from the house. The pain couldn’t be walked through all of a sudden. So, I decided to give my body another test…I told Ty that IF we went back inside and I sat for a while and things still were happening that maybe, just maybe we would REALLY be in labor. Ty agreed. But let’s be honest, who’s not going to agree with a laboring woman? Even if that laboring woman refuses to believe what’s happening!

Here's where things start to get ridiculous. And I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but it’s a key part of the story…but Ty was hungry so as soon as I sat down at the table, you know to see if I was really in labor or not, Ty suggested having a nacho. And for those who know me, who am I to say no to a nacho? Ty made up the fattiest nacho you ever did see – complete with hot salsa and extra hot sauce. 

NOW why did I feel compelled to eat said nacho? I wasn’t even that hungry given the contractions I was going through! But I did it. I think to spite myself and prove I wasn’t really in labor. But as I ate the contractions got worse, we had stopped timing during this point…because nacho making is far more important to contraction timing, right? 

Oh, and did I mention that during said nacho making I tried to help out by cutting the avocado? Just the simple act of crossing the kitchen about did me in and I had to grip the kitchen counter with white knuckles as soon as I reached it. But you bet your bottom dollar I steadied myself to cut that avocado!

So where were we? Yes, I was eating a nacho. Complete with lots of acidic hot sauce. You know this nacho will be making another appearance in this story at this point, right? Brilliant. 

So, I sat there, trying to eat, but the contractions would not stop coming. Why I couldn’t just admit to myself that this was the real deal yet, I don’t know. Instead, I decided I would come up with another test to see if I was really in labor. I told Ty I was going to go lay in the shower and IF my contractions kept coming, then maybe we should start to think about heading to the hospital. 

Needless to say, the shower felt great but I was definitely in labor. By the time Ty came up to check on me not only was I still having contractions but they were now sometimes five and three minutes apart. Ty urged me to think about getting ready for the hospital. Now that I was admitting I was in labor, I wasn’t about to rush off to the hospital. No, I was going to do my hair and makeup! 

This was when things got really bad. I remember clinging to the walls in our bedroom and bathroom to move about and all those Bradley classes I took? BULL. Just a big bunch of bull. I did every single position in the book to try and alleviate the pain, there was NO alleviating the pain and there were no real breaks. That’s what was most alarming to me – where were those windows of reprieve they promise you? There was only extreme pain and less extreme pain at this point. But I was still determined to not run off to the hospital, so during the times of lesser pain I would try to “get ready” – this gave me something to focus on. And in times of extreme pain I couldn’t stand so I would sit on the closest available option. 

During one such time of sitting, I was on the toilet (it was closed, I was just sitting there!) and Ty was rubbing my legs and helping me get through it, when all of a sudden – THE NACHO. It was back. 

Now to paint you the full picture, we have a very narrow master bath where our shower stall and toilet all are located, so there’s just enough room for me to be sitting on the toilet and have Ty face me. But of course, Raleigh was worried about me so Raleigh had shoved himself between where Ty was squatting and I was sitting…just one big happy family! I signal to Ty that I’m going to be sick and he grabs our waste basket. I start heaving into the waste basket over Raleigh’s head while Ty tries to move my hair out of my face and hold the basket steady. It was priceless. 

After that little bit, I looked at Ty and said what he already knew – it was time to get a move on. It was now or never as far as I was concerned, I didn’t know how far along I was in the labor process but I knew that if we waited any longer I would not be able to walk down the stairs and into the car.  As we were getting ready to leave the bedroom upstairs, Ty suggested we take one last picture. I agreed and I don’t know how but I manage to smile. This was the last photo of me pregnant with Tobin, right before we took off for the hospital – 

Outrageous, huh? There was no containing my stomach at that point. Yikes!

How I eventually made it into the car, I really don’t know. Walking down the stairs was incredibly painful and climbing into the car was hideous. As we drove, I started leaking, a lot. I believe this is where my water broke, but we’re not sure because there was never ever a large “gush” for me but they didn’t have to break my water either…who really knows? 

We got checked in at the hospital and I was “checked out.” The nurse who was admitting us said they would most definitely be keeping us – I was 3 cm dilated and contractions were now 1.5 minutes apart.

How appropriate that it was the Superbowl, because it was game on!

Two Months

I feel like the tag "watch me grow" couldn't be more appropriate for these monthly check-ins on our Tobin, because (as I'm sure I'll feel many times in the future) he literally grew in front of my eyes from one hour to the next. It is so crazy to me to see someone day in and day out and still be able to recognize how much change they're undergoing!

After the blur of the first month, the second month started to feel more like a rhythm...a beautiful dance of eat, eat, play, poop, eat, play, poop. Notice the lack of sleep? Actually I can't really complain, because he's a great sleeper at night. Underscore AT NIGHT. During the day...uh, notsomuch. All those books and websites that say how much an infant at this stage should be sleeping...I guess Tobin missed that memo!?

Overall, this month can be marked by the emergence of Tobin's personality and from what we've seen so far - this guy is just loads of fun! He's so social - and as part of that, he continues to be very expressive and oh my goodness - is the kid vocal...I wouldn't go so far to declare he's going to be verbal because right now his favorite sound to make resembles the cry of a Velociraptor...so we'll see if he can corral that noise into something more verbal down the road. Here's a snapshot of Tobin at two months:

• Per our two month doctor appointment yesterday - Tobin weighs in at 16 pounds exactly and is 24.5 inches long. 
• He loves, loves, loves his hands! And is constantly trying to get his fist to his mouth to munch on it...and if he can't find his fist, his swaddle will do...as will my arm. He'll just lean over and start munching/drooling on it. Fun!
• He loves tummy time and holding his head up - he raises his eyebrows while he's at it (like it helps him?) and it often makes him look like a very surprised and old man...cracks me up every time!
• His favorite thing is the bath...we can't wait for summer over here! I see many pool days in our future.
• He's top-notch at cuddling and if he had his way, he'd always sleep cuddled next to someone. I can't say I hate this one, but I know I've got to watch it...or else we may have a two year old who doesn't want to sleep in their own bed. But while he's just two months, I'm loving it!

I could go on, but that would get boring, right? So here's some more fun pictures because he wasn't really feeling it our first time around due to those crummy vaccinations at his appointment. But when we tried again later in the day, I realized just how much harder they are already getting to take! If he's not staring at his feet, he's trying to move, and if I hold him back from moving...well, that's just so upsetting! So, we did our best and got some hysterical outtakes...

not impressed with my shenanigans...

now he thought I was funny, but laughter creates blurry pics

laughing or crying...you decide

hahaha, love this face

classic Tobin

my boy

Tobin's Birth Story - Part Two

Part One is here.

Saturday, February 4^th

After a very emotional Friday and a nearly sleepless evening that followed due to restlessness on my part about being induced, I woke exhausted and was a general mess. I had never been so tired. I had never been so plain worn out – emotionally and physically. I didn’t know what to think anymore and to be honest – I was tired of thinking about it all. As I’ve documented plenty on this blog of mine, I tend to over-think whenever given the chance…and oh how I had overthought the entire process of being induced, my pending labor experience, and just how our baby boy would be brought into the world. And seriously, thank goodness for a husband who really stepped in big-time and was able to pull me back to reality.  How he did it, I don’t know, but after a big cry and letting me verbalize all my worries, I was better. Still apprehensive, sure! But I was back on track. 

That night we promised each other to take full advantage of our last Saturday as just a couple sans kids…and it was the kind of night we love. The one where, had I not been pregnant, I would have likely wound up drinking one too many drinks in the safety of my own home. Which, if you ever really want to see me cut loose, let me play yahtzee and drink wine in my own home. It’s sure to get me wasted. SO random, yes. But apparently the homebody in me prefers getting crazy in the comfort of my own home;) So, that’s exactly what we did. Without the alcohol, obviously!

Rusted Root blasted from the speakers, I showed off a couple HAWT dance moves, and we played some serious yahtzee. And there was tons of laughter. Margot got in on the action and Raleigh sat there like the general lump he is – a cute lump – but a lump all the same. It was perfect and exactly what the doctor ordered. I went to bed happy and content. 

Sunday, February 5^th

I woke up feeling the most energized I had in a long, long, long time. In fact, I remember the first thing I said to Ty that morning being – “I feel like a new person!” In the last 24 hours I had come full circle. Feelings of exhaustion and anxiety from the day before were replaced with a sense of calm and excitement for the next morning – there was something SO amazing about knowing that our time to meet our baby was imminent. The guessing was gone, and we would be on our way the following morning to start the process that would introduce us to our son.

Ty woke just as energized as I did – he was just as excited that it was REALLY all going to happen now. After a leisurely morning we put our energy to use and with our big cups of coffee we went about packing up the rest of the labor bag and hospital bag, loading the extra pillows in the car for what would be an early start the next morning! 

Feeling like we had reached a good stopping point – we couldn’t pack everything in the car at that second – we had planned to work out. And by work out – I mean I was going to go on one last walk around my “loop.” The “loop” was about a 3-3.5 mile walk down to the lake by our house and back, and I can’t tell you how many times this pregnant lady took that walk. It was a total source of comfort, stress relief, and exercise all rolled into one. So it seemed appropriate that I go one last time.

My mom was planning to meet me at noon, so at 11:45 I went upstairs to get on my shoes. Yes, at this point it could take 15 minutes to get my shoes on! Just kidding… I gave myself the extra time, because I would have to go to the bathroom like 7 times to make sure I could make it that whole distance without peeing myself. That’s the honest truth:)

I remember sitting down on the bed, winded from the simple task of walking up our stairs, and bending over to put on my shoes…and then IT happened. All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe – a tidal wave of pain rocked over my body. I thought I had possibly moved too fast in trying to put on my shoes, so I threw myself back on the bed thinking I had strained something…only that didn’t help, the pain was still there! So with one shoe on, I did the only logical thing there was to do…I ran myself to the bathroom. And that’s where Ty found me – with one shoe on, sitting there with a confused look on my face. He did the obvious and asked me what I was doing. To which I replied, “I don’t know…I think I may have had a serious contraction, but then I thought I was going to crap my pants!” 

At this point since I felt fine, we just were hopeful that if it had been a contraction – that would mean things were moving along and that it would only improve our chances of a successful induction the next morning. But as we waited for my parents to show up, one more happened…now our hearts were racing a little bit – but there was NO WAY this was happening, right? I remember telling Ty – DO NOT GET EXCITED like a million times, when really I was just telling myself those words since Ty is by far the calmer of us two. I also made him promise to not say a word to either of my parents, because I didn’t need them to get excited either. 

My parents showed up and as Ty went to leave with my Dad to the gym, my Mom and I turned down the road to begin my “loop.” Little did I know what that loop had in store…