2014

I feel like I have to start with a disclaimer about how I never write, blah blah blah...but we all know that song and dance. I'm going to start using this space to write about more than just home stuff and it may be of very little to no interest to y'all so feel free to skip!

So  the other stuff - it will be a lot of work related posts and vision/planning posts. And to be very honest I don't even know that that means yet but I know that I crave an outlet to write my thoughts on motherhood, work, and how I balance struggle with it all. I've been working through Lara Casey's 2014 posts on goal setting (see here: http://laracasey.com/blog/) and was SO struck by this paragraph:

You see, though, God doesn’t tell us to seek pleasure or a life where we just coast.  He sometimes calls us in seasons of our lives to rise up and let Him work profoundly in us to accomplish far more than we can on our own.  I’m in one of those seasons and I am praying for Him to use me. In these seasons, and always, He tells us to work hard and let Him fill us with a kind of rest that a vacation just can’t accomplish. It’s 20 levels deeper. If you read Proverbs 31, you see a woman who works hard for what matters, rising at dawn and using all she has for her family and others. And then she rests in Him. But, lately I’ve been falling into the trap of self-doubt during some of that rest time. My brain has been spinning a bit, thinking that I cannot write a great book or be a great mom or have as good of a year in business as last year. But. But! Then I remember the greatest lesson I learned from 2013:His plans are far bigger than mine.  He is bigger than me and what I can do on my own. He is in control. My job is to simply trust and obey.

SO good right? I tell you, while I'm not writing a book I could have written that exact paragraph. It could not sum up more where I'm at in this phase of my life. And I can't tell you how many times I whine about how hard I have to work and that it just doesn't "feel fair." And beyond that just how very much I struggle with self-doubt. It may be my #1 stumbling block - to all aspects in my life!

But over the course of this last year I've really come about to understand that I've been called to this moment in my life and that I DO enjoy my work and I do enjoy my home life and that I don't have to have one without the other. I will be very honest in saying that I don't want to work forever, at least not at the level which I operate currently, and that I dream of staying home one day with my boys. But those are my dreams and my only real task right now is to follow HIS plans and where those plans lead I don't know.

I'm hoping to do more listening in 2014 to HIS desires for my life, because I know that will only take me to good places.

Happy 2014!

Best Costume Ever...

I've never been a big fan of Halloween - it's just not my thing. I think I'm just too in love with Thanksgiving and Christmas, and Halloween just feels out of place in the midst of it all. That being said today might mark the "best" Halloween I've ever had...

To celebrate the occasion, I went all out and really made the costume to end all costumes. (Totally kidding.) But it is fair to say that while the costume Tobin's sporting is modest to say the least, I've been working on it since late July;)

TWO BOYS!!!!! I know this is the first mention of the pregnancy on the ol' blog here but due to a first trimester that coupled with the most work hours I've ever worked in a single time period - well, I was sleeping the minute I got home...but hopefully I can get a few more posts in before the baby boy makes his arrival in April. Eeek! I'm so excited. As it settles in I get more and more pumped about it all. Now, time to figure out a name;)

Happy November Eve!

Really quick...

Life here has been speeding by at warp speed. And if I recount all the major changes that have taken place in just the last six months my mind still can't comprehend it all. Ty lost his job, got a better job (Praise, God!), my workplace imploded and I was asked to be the Executive Director - which led to my working around the clock (literally this last weekend was the first time I've had off in over 20 days). And thanks to my wonderful family and Ty, we've somehow kept life afloat in the house. It's been intense. But it's been a major blessing too - in so many ways. We are really blessed.

But I really miss writing here, so I guess those days will come around again... Right now I just think we need some updated pictures of Tobin on here! Who by the way, is just TOO MUCH FUN. There's new words being learned left and right, he is so sweet, and his personality gets bigger by the day. He continues to grow like a weed and at 18 months is (really was, since we're nearing 19!) 35 inches tall and 35 pounds - he tends to get bigger in height and then match it in weight or vice versa. Most people think he's much older than he is because of his size. But his hands and feet continue to grow and don't quite yet look in proportion to the rest of his body:) Hopefully he catches up to them one day! All this to say - we are really loving this age!

So, back to my mission - some updated pics... a few of my favorites from the start of the summer:

This is classic Tobin - totally thought he was in on the action playing frisbee with the big boys.

First time in the Pacific!

Always stops to point to the moon;)

How he spent most of his time at the SD Zoo...so expressive!

I love this face.

Favorite.

Walking to the Bay with Dad...they have the same walk. Cracks me up.

Hope to be back soon!

He's an animal...

Tobin's vocabulary thus far really centers around the word "ball." Anything circular is, well, a ball! One doesn't quite realize how many things are spherical in nature until you have a boy following you around shouting "ball" at each object. Trust me. A lot. Try walking through Target with that bullet sign logo of theirs...whole new experience:)

He says plenty of other words too, but what he really excels in - animal noises. Of course. Out of nowhere the other day he was pointing to the snake on one of the pages of this book (a current favorite) and was making a hissing noise. Cracks me up! As of right now he knows a lion, snake, dog, cat, and cow. **Edited to add - oh, and monkey. After I posted this I went back and watched and remembered! Hahaha this is why I should probably blog more and remember stuff!**

And I must point out that his dog sound is a dog panting vs. barking - which is totally fair considering he lives in a house of pugs. So, in his world - that is totally what a doggy says!

I managed to get a few on camera and thought I'd share...of course he was distracted by Grandpa playing guitar in the background, but at least he gave me a little attention...which is pretty amazing because in Tobin's life Grandpa and music rate just about as high as "ball." :)

He's got moves.

In case you were looking for something to do...here's nearly two minutes worth of some hot moves courtesy of Tobin this evening. Note his fancy footwork around the 1:30 mark....

Right now...

Tobin as of yesterday.

So, that one year old post with all those words? I really dropped the ball on that one. But I just don't have it in me to go back and spell it out for this blog here as to what he was doing at that moment in time, because it's in my heart and I'll know it forever. One was fun - but man, I'm learning we are in the thick of things now and it's REALLY fun.

 

Isn't that a first-time parenting thing? Each phase is somehow magically more fun that the last. Sure I miss baby Tobin moments - I was looking back the other day and came across some of his old pictures and I was in near tears because it just goes so fast. The moments aren't long enough. But you only get mere seconds to miss those times because then reality slaps you in the face and you wouldn't change it for a thing. Being present here and now is where it's at. 

Ball is his favorite word. HANDS DOWN. Shocking?

Tobin is just the best thing ever. I make jokes and do my best to not seem the ridiculously proud and over-attentive parent obsessed with their own child when out in public, when in reality all I can do is look at him and not bubble over. Oh, Son - truly, truly, you make my cup runneth over. Ty and I will lay in bed at night and look at one another and say "How can we ever have another kid as fun, wonderful, beautiful, happy, (insert ridiculously prideful adjective here), as our Tobin." And we sigh and then say we can't and know that we must be in for it with number two because he is just too wonderful for words. 

Ready to vomit? Yeah, me too. I get it - it's sick. But seriously, you would be just as smitten if you knew him. 

Double chins never looked so good!

Like the other day we were in Target (don't all good stories start that way?), and he decided he was not going to be in the cart so Grandma was watching him meander through the aisles when all of a sudden he decided he was going to play tag with a 5-7 (I am awful at guessing ages!) year old girl who was walking with her mom up ahead. And you guys - cutest thing ever. You could tell he thought he was "getting her" - see his love for this in videos here and here - and he just ran up to her smiling and would pause right as he reached her. And then when she'd walk up ahead he'd run after her again. 

Obviously this kind of confused the girl (what, don't all strangers bust into tag?!?!) but once she caught on to what he was doing, she loved it. And of course, Tobin wanted to hug her once he reached her, but settled for a handshake. This is the second time he's tried to hug a random kid. He's a lover of big kids. We kind of need to work on boundaries - we LOVE everyone, everyone should LOVE us, he's totally that kind. We're going to have to work on that...stranger danger is not part of his vocabulary. 

Such serious business - baseball. And so proud of himself:)

I share this story (if you are all still reading) because I think it just encapsulates his littler personhood so well right now. He is an energetic, out-going, confident, little guy with a whole lotta love to give. And I know we all love our kids - but man, do I LIKE him. He's already one of my best friends.

I captured how fast he was going. But don't be fooled, he fell shortly after;)

And since we're still nursing, I am home to his two very best friends. So I guess the feeling is mutual. Ha!

 

Coming out of hiding...

Hiding under blankets - generally a favorite pastime.

Really. We're coming out of hiding - soon! For some real blog posts. Really. It's been what? Like 2 plus months? Yikes. Lots has been going on. Lots good. Lots not-so-good-but-phew-now-it's-good. For a little bit I had seriously debated just stopping this blog altogether, I mean I have negative time with which to do it and life just seems to get busier by the day. But then I realized, I enjoy the little times I've documented here (and heck, I've been doing it for how many years now? it's fun to have an "online memory book" of sorts) and I'm sure I won't want to miss recording the moments to come.

So, hello. We'll be in touch again soon!

Even Tobin is skeptical I'm really going to do this...