Tobin Turns Three!

It’s actually the eve of your third birthday as I write this and I’m all sorts of happy as I sit here and reflect on the little guy you’ve become. I know that I’m likely biased, but really everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who has met you agrees – you are quite possibly the sweetest kid ever. 

You genuinely love people and are so eager to make friends with everyone you meet. I really love that about you.

I don’t think there is anyone you’d rather be with than your family – we are your best friends and you really are ours. And you tell us ALL the time how much you love us – and I never tire of hearing those words. Thank you for using them often!

You are a sweet spirit when it comes to all matters of the heart but you are tough as can be when it comes to getting sick and/or hurt. In fact, we’re just recovering from your very first stomach bug and after one round of throwing up – rather than cry or complain, you apologized to me for accidentally throwing up on your new stuffed animal. This is so you.

You never fail to make us laugh. You make up the best stories and your sense of imagination is amazing. Imaginary play is probably your most favorite activity right now, aside from “racing” (running laps with Dad around the house). I cannot begin to recall the number of expeditions we’ve been on together  -by submarine, race car, jet plane, etc...

You are very observant and pay attention to the finest details, be it the way I’m wearing my hair (you do not like it when I pull my hair back in a ponytail!), or if something is out of place, you are quick to point it out and correct.

I love so very much about you and I could go on forever and ever about your charms. I am just so very thankful that you were the one to make me a mom and am SO very proud of you. I can’t wait to see where this next year takes you but if I’m being honest – four! Oh man, four sounds too big. So I will relish in every day of your third year. 

Thank you for being mine sweet Toblerone. You have blessed your Daddy’s and my life in ways we just didn’t even know were possible.

Last but not least - the ubiquitous chair snapshot...I hope I'm still taking your photo in footed pj's when you're in your teens, but I doubt it;) 

We love you! Happy Birthday, Tobin!

For reference: Tobin's Second Birthday Post

This guy

Is almost three! And as we near another birthday I am all sorts of overwhelmed about the awesome guy he is. We just got our family photos on a disc sent to us and as I sorted through them (again! I just love them!), I came across a picture that I just adore of Tobin's little face. So, here it is.

Oh, buddy. I feel bad that I don't write here enough to document all the goodness you show us, but know this - you are SO loved. I WILL be writing a big two going on three post, so I will save all the sappy words for that moment in time, but gosh - I LOVE YOU!

Sutton at Six Months

Sutton is now six months and I haven’t written a thing about him – just him – since he made his debut. So, I thought at the very least the child deserves a half-yearly update and then maybe if he’s lucky he’ll get another post at one.

So, where to begin? Oh, buddy. You are FUN. And just about as opposite of your brother in every way (save for size, you are just as big, if not a little bigger! 22.8 lbs and 28 inches). But where Tobin was already crawling at six months, you are not. Though I think you could if you would take your hands out of your mouth and use your arms correctly. But this is all okay, I am very thankful to not have you quite as mobile, because if your personality thus far is any indication of what we’re in for – well, I’m really okay with having a less-mobile version of Sutton for now.

For not being all that mobile, you get around plenty. You do this 360 degree move that makes us all laugh and you get to and from with a combination of this rotation on the ground and rolling. And you can move where you want to at the moment.

You are extremely, extremely loud. I realized the other day that you don’t cry nearly as often as I think you do, you just kind of yell your opinions all the time, be it happy or sad! You often happily yell/babble at us as you sit and clap, which is another favorite activity of yours. You are very proud of yourself when you clap and you are even more excited when we all congratulate you on your newfound skill!

You play very well for your age already, but you have to be given options, which just kind of cracks me up and I think says so much about you. You like your toys to be set next you in a basket and then YOU and only you can take them all out one by one and empty the basket. By the time the basket is empty you either try to eat or drum on the basket and then time is up!

You have the world’s biggest smile. It is a super gummy and wide smile that takes up so much of your face and the only thing cuter than that smile are the dimples you have framing it. I don’t know where the super deep set dimples came from, but oh boy, do I love them! In general, you just have big, animated features and if there’s anything that can compete with your smile/dimples it’s your eyebrows. And your Daddy wonders why I’m so neurotic about keeping my own groomed – hello, brows! You clearly got my crazy arched eyebrows and they are intense when you use them. I love you for it. They are amazing. Side note – when we got family pictures done this last weekend, I would have appreciated at least a little bit of your smile on display, but you were intent on having your best Jack Nicholson impersonation on display instead. I’m sure they will be hysterical to see….

There is no one, and I repeat, NO ONE, whom you love more than your brother. And now that Tobin is really starting to understand just how happy you are when he plays with you and the way you respond to him, he is quite in love with you too. We are really starting to hit our stride as a little family of four and we love you so much!

We are SO thankful for the spunk, energy, and love you bring to our family!

Saturdays...

Saturday three months ago...

Saturday today...

We've gotten bigger, there are less clothes (clothes are optional because they equal laundry), Tobin still has an amazing case of bedhead and that cheesy smile...and Sutton remains skeptical of it all...

Love these Saturdays - Happy Weekend!

On two...children, that is.

I sit here perched hysterically on the edge of a chair typing while simultaneously bouncing Sutton in the front pack so that he might – key word – might – stay asleep. This post will be far from grammatically correct and will likely contain a load of words typed wrong and if auto correct doesn’t catch’em – so be it. 

This is me today right before writing - keeping it real, folks! Messy kitchen, no shower, and Sutton snoozing away!

So where are we? For about two weeks life with two was wonderful. We were blissed out in a MAJOR way. Sutton was a dream baby and Tobin was the best big brother you ever did see. But then Tobin had a febrile seizure (just typing that kinda makes me want to vomit) and while I’m sure many people I’m over-dramatic, it rocked me big time. I blame this partly on being two weeks postpartum. And then the virus that seizure predicated came on and will forever be known as the “great virus of 2014.” I am naming it thus so that 2014 has no more stronghold in such a manner over our family – I mean everyone, everyone!!! got sick. Including Sutton – who at the urgent care appointment had to have his heel pricked and squeezed a ridiculous number of times because the nurse just kept saying “sorry, he’s not a bleeder!” It was after this particular nurse’s third attempt that she pretty much gave up and we got a new nurse – and boy, did this nurse get the little guy’s blood out. AND that was also when Sutton, oh our dear Sutton, found his voice. And he hasn’t looked back. 

So here we are about two months post all that fun and I wish I could say we’re still living in blissdom. We’re not. Don’t get me wrong – we are never for a second not in love with our new addition, or unhappy – we’re just tired.

Really, really, really, really tired.

And Sutton has since not been the easiest baby on the block –he is as we tell others “olic.” Meaning the “c” is silent as are his cries. But in every other way he is a colic baby. Meaning he takes a lot of work to be content, and oh, he doesn’t sleep during the day. I mean, I know that Tobin didn’t sleep all that well during the day on his own either, but that was no biggie. I only had one kid then, I could sit and just hold a baby while said baby napped on me. How fun! With Sutton, not only does he not do well napping alone, he is tough to get to go to sleep in general. So you finally get him to sleep, only to have him wake 20 minutes later. BUT put the kid in the front pack and after he fights it for about 20-30 minutes he’s out. Friends – there’s nothing I can’t do in a front pack these days. I go to the bathroom in the front pack, I cook, clean, play with Tobin, etc...all while wearing my 18 pound three month old baby. 

Dem guns.

This picture really captures Sutton - full of it and chubby!

Now to Sutton’s credit – we are seeing some better days emerge, so I think things are improving. But we have a ways to go. OH – and lest I forget – I GAVE UP DAIRY FOR THIS KID. People, this is huge. Milk and cheese are like my lifelines. And since it did make a difference, dairy free I will be!

Now back to the moral of the story...the thing about two – two and under – is it’s busy and there is never, in like really not ever, a second where you are not needed. And the hardest part of that whole deal is not the total exhaustion you feel as you hit the bed, the hardest part about it all is that you really don’t feel like you’re enough for both kids. Because at some point, there is going to come a time where you have to divide your attention entirely to one of the two and you immediately feel awful for the child who is currently the “have-not.” I think most people with two might be able to ease into this a bit more than we did but with the seizure and the worst virus ever, I immediately had to start making those decisions. It was very strange to ride away in an ambulance with Tobin and give next to no thought as to how Sutton would be cared for – but there was pumped milk in the freezer and they’d figure it out....I cried to my mom about a week after everything happened and asked her if I seemed disconnected from Sutton because I just really felt like that early bonding time had been jacked up in a major way. Of course she answered in a way that made me feel better and now that I’m farther away from the postpartum hormones, I know I did the best with what I was given. And he’s made sure we made up for bonding since I pretty much am still gestating this child considering how much I wear him:)

 

Tobin has resorted to playing "puppy" and other fun games of that sort...

What 5 pm looks like every day - not pictured, my beer.

So, while I’m rambling all over the place and this has become the world’s longest post – I’ll leave it at this...two is great. But it has not come easy by any means. I think that every day gets better and that keeps us all going! 

There are more things I want to write - like Sutton's birth story (because it was so amazing and wonderful and I don't want to forget it!), and those monthly updates (Sutton will likely have quarterly updates because that's really our speed at posting!), and other things. But I expect writing here will be slow-going and now you know why. We're adjusting and I'm giving myself some grace in the process:) I'm guessing that when work kicks back in full time in a couple of weeks, more adjustment will be required...

We'll be back!

P.S. Yes, all these amazing quality photographs were taken with my phone and are edited in super fancy schmancy Instagram. We've taken about five good photos with the *real* camera - hahahaha. Oh, the hilarity and difference from one kid to two:) Or maybe I just suck it up, either way - hysterical!

My boys

We had a quick ultrasound today to check up on Baby #2...because just like with Tobin, I am measuring big again. A mere 5 weeks ahead. But I digress. The point is, all looks good. We've got another big guy on our hands, blah blah blah...BUT most excitingly they gave us a 4D shot at his face and I was dying to come home and compare to Tobin's at this same time.

So here they are...my boys, side by side. My boys! Eeek, so excited!

First thing I see is just how very different they look! I can't wait to meet the little man in 6 weeks or so to see for myself!

Tobin is Two!

Tobin at Two!

So before this guy goes and turns three on me, I figured I better sit down and make myself write down all the words that are in my head about this wonderful boy of ours...but where to begin? I've written so many posts about him in my head that as I type this it almost feels redundant. So, son - if you ever do read this blog one day (ha!, fat chance), please know while my updates have been lacking it really is all your fault - you're just so much fun I can't pull myself away to blog about it - I'd rather just be sitting next to you! BUT for posterity's sake - here goes:

You are a delight. See picture directly below for evidence...

Really though, while we have definitely hit some of the fun behaviors that are often associated with two - overall you have taken it sooo easy on us. You are so thoughtful and you really, really, really love people. On your birthday weekend (which you happen to share birthday week with your Uncle Danny and Granny) Uncle Danny had his friends over. And there you are - this little two year old (albeit big little two year old) and you just latched onto these 21 year old boys like they were your best friends. And after a fun night of making them sit next to you and play drums, or go down the slide, or play with play-doh...we finally had to say goodnight and get you home. We told you to start making the rounds of saying goodbye and instead you just looked out and surveyed the crowd and exclaimed (dramatically but sincerely) "I love you people!"

I share this story because that is just SO you. You are full of love, joy, and confidence - but in the midst of all that good stuff - you're also a very sensitive guy and that just makes you a really special combination.  I am so thankful for that because you're just weeks away from becoming a big brother and I am so confident of your ability to handle that new addition to your life and ours!

Other fun facts about you:

You continue to be on the larger than average size - see picture collage above for proof of that one. You look way older than most other kiddos your age and I think being nearly 38 inches and 38 pounds has a little something to do with it. You also physically have a very strong control of your body and can do things that I don't think most two year olds can do...but you've always been that way when it's come to anything physical. I mean, you got a basketball hoop for your main birthday present and boy do you know how to use it. You amaze me, and all this hand-eye coordination plus athleticism is clearly ALL from your dad!

You are animated and so very expressive! Your language really exploded around the 18 month mark and hasn't slowed one bit since and you talk from the moment you get up till we put you back down. You love to count and have recently taken to identifying sets of things while we're out, "Look - Two dogs!" But more than anything you still love to just be outside and if the weather permits - that's what we do. Outside from sun-up till sun-down and you couldn't be happier. Oh, that and animals. There isn't an animal you don't like or shy away from. Oh, and wait - balls. Balls, balls, and more balls. Soccer, baseball, basketball, those cheap ones from the grocery store that cost like $2.00...And let's be honest here - even your own balls...where does that come from?!?! Let's just hope that fascination dies down from between here and year three.

But really, Tobin. I delight in you all day long! I would have at least 7 more children if they were all like you... There is not a day that goes by where I do not want to sneak back in and lay next to you after you've already fallen asleep for the night. I am SO proud to be your mom. And I really can't wait to see where this next year takes you (and us!)...because to look back on this past year blows my mind in how far we've all come together as a family.

We love you SO much!

2014

I feel like I have to start with a disclaimer about how I never write, blah blah blah...but we all know that song and dance. I'm going to start using this space to write about more than just home stuff and it may be of very little to no interest to y'all so feel free to skip!

So  the other stuff - it will be a lot of work related posts and vision/planning posts. And to be very honest I don't even know that that means yet but I know that I crave an outlet to write my thoughts on motherhood, work, and how I balance struggle with it all. I've been working through Lara Casey's 2014 posts on goal setting (see here: http://laracasey.com/blog/) and was SO struck by this paragraph:

You see, though, God doesn’t tell us to seek pleasure or a life where we just coast.  He sometimes calls us in seasons of our lives to rise up and let Him work profoundly in us to accomplish far more than we can on our own.  I’m in one of those seasons and I am praying for Him to use me. In these seasons, and always, He tells us to work hard and let Him fill us with a kind of rest that a vacation just can’t accomplish. It’s 20 levels deeper. If you read Proverbs 31, you see a woman who works hard for what matters, rising at dawn and using all she has for her family and others. And then she rests in Him. But, lately I’ve been falling into the trap of self-doubt during some of that rest time. My brain has been spinning a bit, thinking that I cannot write a great book or be a great mom or have as good of a year in business as last year. But. But! Then I remember the greatest lesson I learned from 2013:His plans are far bigger than mine.  He is bigger than me and what I can do on my own. He is in control. My job is to simply trust and obey.

SO good right? I tell you, while I'm not writing a book I could have written that exact paragraph. It could not sum up more where I'm at in this phase of my life. And I can't tell you how many times I whine about how hard I have to work and that it just doesn't "feel fair." And beyond that just how very much I struggle with self-doubt. It may be my #1 stumbling block - to all aspects in my life!

But over the course of this last year I've really come about to understand that I've been called to this moment in my life and that I DO enjoy my work and I do enjoy my home life and that I don't have to have one without the other. I will be very honest in saying that I don't want to work forever, at least not at the level which I operate currently, and that I dream of staying home one day with my boys. But those are my dreams and my only real task right now is to follow HIS plans and where those plans lead I don't know.

I'm hoping to do more listening in 2014 to HIS desires for my life, because I know that will only take me to good places.

Happy 2014!

Best Costume Ever...

I've never been a big fan of Halloween - it's just not my thing. I think I'm just too in love with Thanksgiving and Christmas, and Halloween just feels out of place in the midst of it all. That being said today might mark the "best" Halloween I've ever had...

To celebrate the occasion, I went all out and really made the costume to end all costumes. (Totally kidding.) But it is fair to say that while the costume Tobin's sporting is modest to say the least, I've been working on it since late July;)

TWO BOYS!!!!! I know this is the first mention of the pregnancy on the ol' blog here but due to a first trimester that coupled with the most work hours I've ever worked in a single time period - well, I was sleeping the minute I got home...but hopefully I can get a few more posts in before the baby boy makes his arrival in April. Eeek! I'm so excited. As it settles in I get more and more pumped about it all. Now, time to figure out a name;)

Happy November Eve!

Really quick...

Life here has been speeding by at warp speed. And if I recount all the major changes that have taken place in just the last six months my mind still can't comprehend it all. Ty lost his job, got a better job (Praise, God!), my workplace imploded and I was asked to be the Executive Director - which led to my working around the clock (literally this last weekend was the first time I've had off in over 20 days). And thanks to my wonderful family and Ty, we've somehow kept life afloat in the house. It's been intense. But it's been a major blessing too - in so many ways. We are really blessed.

But I really miss writing here, so I guess those days will come around again... Right now I just think we need some updated pictures of Tobin on here! Who by the way, is just TOO MUCH FUN. There's new words being learned left and right, he is so sweet, and his personality gets bigger by the day. He continues to grow like a weed and at 18 months is (really was, since we're nearing 19!) 35 inches tall and 35 pounds - he tends to get bigger in height and then match it in weight or vice versa. Most people think he's much older than he is because of his size. But his hands and feet continue to grow and don't quite yet look in proportion to the rest of his body:) Hopefully he catches up to them one day! All this to say - we are really loving this age!

So, back to my mission - some updated pics... a few of my favorites from the start of the summer:

This is classic Tobin - totally thought he was in on the action playing frisbee with the big boys.

First time in the Pacific!

Always stops to point to the moon;)

How he spent most of his time at the SD Zoo...so expressive!

I love this face.

Favorite.

Walking to the Bay with Dad...they have the same walk. Cracks me up.

Hope to be back soon!

He's an animal...

Tobin's vocabulary thus far really centers around the word "ball." Anything circular is, well, a ball! One doesn't quite realize how many things are spherical in nature until you have a boy following you around shouting "ball" at each object. Trust me. A lot. Try walking through Target with that bullet sign logo of theirs...whole new experience:)

He says plenty of other words too, but what he really excels in - animal noises. Of course. Out of nowhere the other day he was pointing to the snake on one of the pages of this book (a current favorite) and was making a hissing noise. Cracks me up! As of right now he knows a lion, snake, dog, cat, and cow. **Edited to add - oh, and monkey. After I posted this I went back and watched and remembered! Hahaha this is why I should probably blog more and remember stuff!**

And I must point out that his dog sound is a dog panting vs. barking - which is totally fair considering he lives in a house of pugs. So, in his world - that is totally what a doggy says!

I managed to get a few on camera and thought I'd share...of course he was distracted by Grandpa playing guitar in the background, but at least he gave me a little attention...which is pretty amazing because in Tobin's life Grandpa and music rate just about as high as "ball." :)

He's got moves.

In case you were looking for something to do...here's nearly two minutes worth of some hot moves courtesy of Tobin this evening. Note his fancy footwork around the 1:30 mark....

Right now...

Tobin as of yesterday.

So, that one year old post with all those words? I really dropped the ball on that one. But I just don't have it in me to go back and spell it out for this blog here as to what he was doing at that moment in time, because it's in my heart and I'll know it forever. One was fun - but man, I'm learning we are in the thick of things now and it's REALLY fun.

 

Isn't that a first-time parenting thing? Each phase is somehow magically more fun that the last. Sure I miss baby Tobin moments - I was looking back the other day and came across some of his old pictures and I was in near tears because it just goes so fast. The moments aren't long enough. But you only get mere seconds to miss those times because then reality slaps you in the face and you wouldn't change it for a thing. Being present here and now is where it's at. 

Ball is his favorite word. HANDS DOWN. Shocking?

Tobin is just the best thing ever. I make jokes and do my best to not seem the ridiculously proud and over-attentive parent obsessed with their own child when out in public, when in reality all I can do is look at him and not bubble over. Oh, Son - truly, truly, you make my cup runneth over. Ty and I will lay in bed at night and look at one another and say "How can we ever have another kid as fun, wonderful, beautiful, happy, (insert ridiculously prideful adjective here), as our Tobin." And we sigh and then say we can't and know that we must be in for it with number two because he is just too wonderful for words. 

Ready to vomit? Yeah, me too. I get it - it's sick. But seriously, you would be just as smitten if you knew him. 

Double chins never looked so good!

Like the other day we were in Target (don't all good stories start that way?), and he decided he was not going to be in the cart so Grandma was watching him meander through the aisles when all of a sudden he decided he was going to play tag with a 5-7 (I am awful at guessing ages!) year old girl who was walking with her mom up ahead. And you guys - cutest thing ever. You could tell he thought he was "getting her" - see his love for this in videos here and here - and he just ran up to her smiling and would pause right as he reached her. And then when she'd walk up ahead he'd run after her again. 

Obviously this kind of confused the girl (what, don't all strangers bust into tag?!?!) but once she caught on to what he was doing, she loved it. And of course, Tobin wanted to hug her once he reached her, but settled for a handshake. This is the second time he's tried to hug a random kid. He's a lover of big kids. We kind of need to work on boundaries - we LOVE everyone, everyone should LOVE us, he's totally that kind. We're going to have to work on that...stranger danger is not part of his vocabulary. 

Such serious business - baseball. And so proud of himself:)

I share this story (if you are all still reading) because I think it just encapsulates his littler personhood so well right now. He is an energetic, out-going, confident, little guy with a whole lotta love to give. And I know we all love our kids - but man, do I LIKE him. He's already one of my best friends.

I captured how fast he was going. But don't be fooled, he fell shortly after;)

And since we're still nursing, I am home to his two very best friends. So I guess the feeling is mutual. Ha!

 

Coming out of hiding...

Hiding under blankets - generally a favorite pastime.

Really. We're coming out of hiding - soon! For some real blog posts. Really. It's been what? Like 2 plus months? Yikes. Lots has been going on. Lots good. Lots not-so-good-but-phew-now-it's-good. For a little bit I had seriously debated just stopping this blog altogether, I mean I have negative time with which to do it and life just seems to get busier by the day. But then I realized, I enjoy the little times I've documented here (and heck, I've been doing it for how many years now? it's fun to have an "online memory book" of sorts) and I'm sure I won't want to miss recording the moments to come.

So, hello. We'll be in touch again soon!

Even Tobin is skeptical I'm really going to do this...

One year....

I have lots to say (shocking, I know) but that will be for another post. Today, my son, is a celebration of you. All those little moments, all those big moments, and everything in between.

Your Aunt Emily was gracious enough to help her crazy sister with this slideshow...confession it was almost an HOUR long before she came along and helped me edit. It is now 20 minutes. I KNOW - still long. But it's the most beautiful slideshow in the whole world and if I could I would share it from on top of a mountain! But what I love so much is that as I watch this, I can see you - who you are - come to light. And it's so amazing. And so wonderful - just like you.

Happy birthday, to our little dandelion. You made a thousand wishes come true a year ago today. And judging by your hair, we have a lot more wishes to make for the future;)

Glad to know...

That this is how Tobin feels about taking pictures with me already...

He's teething, but really are there teeth growing in the back of his throat? I don't think so...

Evenings...

Filled with hide-and-seek...laughter...and loads of zit cream on my chin, naturally.

Merry and bright...

It's not too late for a holiday photo dump, right? Our season of Christmas through to the New Year was particularly merry and bright as we celebrated the "firsts" with Tobin. I had time off of work and there were lots of days full of relaxed schedules, baking, wrapping, and perogi making. And family, always family. Oh, and there was even a date sprinkled in for me and Ty.

It was, as Martin Lawrence Bullard would say, "Delicious, darlings."

And thanks to Instagram, it's all been documented for me to share...eat it up:)

Life is sweet indeed!

Some outtakes...

Marissa recently mentioned my lack of posts and that it "seems time for a new post." Oh how right she is, but where oh where does the time go? I know I won't be able to recap everything and if I'm going to even come close to wrapping up his one year (three weeks away!!!) projects, well...this will have to be short and sweet!

In all actuality, I need to do a picture dump from Instagram...nevermind that expensive camera we bought...the only pictures I take these days are on Instagram- ha! Oh well:)

Here's a few of my "real" camera faves over the past month...

We took Tobin to Zoo Lights - this was his expression upon seeing the baby elephant;)

We tried for  family pic, Tobin was clearly into it.

Oops just hit publish, meant to add some more pics...tells you how long it's been since I've done this...okay more pics round two:

We TOOK 11 mos update photos, I did NOT blog it. Oh well...

This is how that 11 mos shoot started out;)

This is what Margot does when we do the aforementioned shoots. This is also how we all feel right about now - ready for the weekend in a MAJOR way:)

Happy Friday! Have a wonderful weekend!!!!!